Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey, I've been reading a few books (including "Untypical" by Pete Wharmby which has been recently released) and read a lot about masking, particularly in relation to girls and women.
Thing is, I don't mask so I find this a bit of a mystery. I cannot hide any of my traits or emotions, and when I read of girls sitting and watching how others interacted and copying people's social cues, I'm baffled. How did they do this? As a child I played by myself and was according to other people 'totally in my own world'. I couldn't copy other people's behaviours to fit in if I tried.
I do wonder sometimes if my life would be easier if I could mask - to be able to pass as normal when there's someone you need to impress who will only respect you if you appear to get the social code.
But I've also seen how damaging masking has been to my autistic friend who was late diagnosed - in these last few years I'm only starting to see the 'real her' because she's been masking the whole time.
Are there autistic people here who don't mask?
My mom pushed me into masking. She shouted at me for being isolated, not talking, not making eye contact, not responding or not smiling enough. For a long time I punished myself for staying home alone for long time or not making s good impression on someone or not being"entertaining enough". It was such a relief to learn that I finally can. In a way it wasn't only my mom, the whole society expect women to smile more often, dress uncomfortably to look more beautiful or talk to entertain or be overly always caring and overlay always thoughtful and not meltdown!. None of that fits me. It has been a constant torture until I decided to send all to hell with their expectations and just be me.