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parenting with autism

Vikingwife

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I've joined the forum because my partner is autistic. We don't have any trouble in our relationship, but he seems to be finding it increasingly hard to deal with our children. He's lovely with babies and toddlers but as they're hitting the 'tweens', I think he's finding it hard to deal with how complex they get. He can really lose his temper, which isn't fair on them a lot of the time. Does anyone know if there are any parenting courses aimed specifically at parents who have autism? It would be so helpful if he had practice scenarios and 'scripts' for how to deal with kids who are growing up.

I've tried googling and looking through this website, but everything seems aimed at NT parents with autistic children!

Thanks for any help or ideas 

Parents

  • He needs to have a quiet space he can go to so that he can de-stress and not get so overwhelmed that he ends up losing his temper.

    Perhaps the children could be told that certain times of the day are off-limits as he's tired or something so that if they need to go to him for something he knows when to expect it.

    I don't think he needs a parenting course.  I am a parent with ASC and you cannot change how you are inside as it's a neurological difference.  If he knows what is expected of him, he will perhaps tolerate it more.  So you may need to spell out to him what his parental duties are and if necessary, how he performs them.

    No parenting course can account for your husband's personality and how he deals with things, you know him well enough to give him all the information he needs to manage the job.  Don't expect perfection though, and don't compare him to neurotypical fathers as he will never be like that.

Reply

  • He needs to have a quiet space he can go to so that he can de-stress and not get so overwhelmed that he ends up losing his temper.

    Perhaps the children could be told that certain times of the day are off-limits as he's tired or something so that if they need to go to him for something he knows when to expect it.

    I don't think he needs a parenting course.  I am a parent with ASC and you cannot change how you are inside as it's a neurological difference.  If he knows what is expected of him, he will perhaps tolerate it more.  So you may need to spell out to him what his parental duties are and if necessary, how he performs them.

    No parenting course can account for your husband's personality and how he deals with things, you know him well enough to give him all the information he needs to manage the job.  Don't expect perfection though, and don't compare him to neurotypical fathers as he will never be like that.

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