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parenting with autism

Vikingwife

Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I've joined the forum because my partner is autistic. We don't have any trouble in our relationship, but he seems to be finding it increasingly hard to deal with our children. He's lovely with babies and toddlers but as they're hitting the 'tweens', I think he's finding it hard to deal with how complex they get. He can really lose his temper, which isn't fair on them a lot of the time. Does anyone know if there are any parenting courses aimed specifically at parents who have autism? It would be so helpful if he had practice scenarios and 'scripts' for how to deal with kids who are growing up.

I've tried googling and looking through this website, but everything seems aimed at NT parents with autistic children!

Thanks for any help or ideas 

  • Hi Lipgloss,

    I am very sorry to hear about how difficult you are finding things with your children.

    The Autism Helpline may be able to give you some advice. The number to call is 0808 800 4104. They are open Monday to Friday from 10am to 4pm.

    You can read more about the helpline by clicking on the following link:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/autism-helpline/how-to-contact-us.aspx

     

    Take care,

    Adél, NAS moderator

  • I am having same difficulties as your husband! married to an NT man, I was always scared of having kids, he insisted on having them and now my life has been turned into a living hell... I wake up and and think "oh no, what are 2 screaming kids doing in MY house?"... am actually considering leaving them all, it's too unbearable, too unfair on kids having to experience my anger  and  longing to be left alone...

  • He needs to have a quiet space he can go to so that he can de-stress and not get so overwhelmed that he ends up losing his temper.

    Perhaps the children could be told that certain times of the day are off-limits as he's tired or something so that if they need to go to him for something he knows when to expect it.

    I don't think he needs a parenting course.  I am a parent with ASC and you cannot change how you are inside as it's a neurological difference.  If he knows what is expected of him, he will perhaps tolerate it more.  So you may need to spell out to him what his parental duties are and if necessary, how he performs them.

    No parenting course can account for your husband's personality and how he deals with things, you know him well enough to give him all the information he needs to manage the job.  Don't expect perfection though, and don't compare him to neurotypical fathers as he will never be like that.

  • I'm not aware of any courses but did find this book : 

    Out of Mind - Out of Sight : Parenting with a partner with Asperger Syndrome by Kathy J Marshack, Ph.D.

    She also has a website with some useful hints and tips.