.

I suspect you need to try counselling/therapy to deal with those abandonment issues. The very fact you have used the word abandoned says a lot. He isn’t, he’s just seeing friends. Perhaps there’s a little separation anxiety there. This sounds reminiscent of BPD, but what do I know…

Could you get him to text you half way through his time away? And you could try distracting yourself by doing something you enjoy, or just watch a film…. You could visit friends or family, go for a walk or work out in these situations. Burn off some of those anxiety ridden feelings.

I don’t think you need to be single, though you might need to be to work out your issues. For now, just get started on therapy, and enjoying the relationship you have. Things can get better but require time and change.

As everyone else said, he has his friends.

We always catastrophise. Our mind plays tricks on us. But learning to trust is important. 

No. There's actually no need to worry about this.

We all need other relationships in our lives. Your boyfriend can't fulfil the role of other social relationships for you; a girl friend or family or a pet. You can't fulfil them for him.

It is normal for him to want to see mates. The keys is appreciating that this is no threat or detriment to you. You occupy a space in his life that can be filled by you and you alone. Own that and accept there are other spaces where friends reside.  It's ok.

HI there, 

Hope you are okay. 

It is good that your bf goes out with his friends from time to time, and that happens in a healthy relationship. 

You wouldn't expect him to be there 24/7 hanging around you? that is when it gets unhealthy. 

Perhaps some counselling would help you work out why you feel this way, and explore if you have any other issues going on that somehow make you end up being like this? 

If he is a good guy, and your happy overall in the relationship, then it is something worth trying to nurture. 

 Sounds like you need a bit of adjusting in the relationship. 

You say you are anxious when he is away, so when he returns does that help you be less anxious? if this is the case then it sounds like it is worth saving the relationship. 

Best thing to do is talk to a counsellor. 

I hope things get better for you soon

I don’t know really, I struggle with severe anxiety so it’s the thought of almost being abandoned and not knowing what’s going on when I’m not there. It just gives me a very uncomfortable sick to the stomach feeling. I trust him, he’s never cheated, but I think it’s because of my psychological issues that I will never be able to shake. So I’m realising I think I’m better alone.

Why do you feel stressed? What are you worrying about?