Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey folks. My name is Kali I'm a late diagnosed autistic female. I am travelling in the UK from NZ.
I'm struggling a lot right now. I have just left a relationship and a job which is bound to make me sad but everything is beginning to feel, well hopeless. I have spent a lifetime failing to fit in in the neurotypical world and while I'm kinda OK with that, it feels a lot like there isn't a person or a job or a place for me in the world at all.
I'm not trying to be alarmist. I was hoping some of you other late diagnosed humans might have some tips for me on how to stay connected with people and networks. How to maintain relationships, jobs, or get support and find a place for yourself in the world. I'm less expecting full on answers (I know it's a lot) and more little tips that might bring a little ray of hope to my current perspective.
Thanks Kali.
Failing to fit, feels like there's no place for me in the whole world nor a kind person who's ready for me or a decent job that could suit my needs.. you have wrote exactly my feelings and fears. How do I deal with it? Well, I talk about it and it's good that you wrote here, I guess quite few of us can relate, so there you go, maybe a place where you could feel like you fit? I know this community helps me with those feelings a lot. We aren't all the same but we can relate to each others struggles.
It seems like you are having those times when life decides to give us a challenge, and it's understandable that in those times a person might become a bit alarmist. What helps me too is thinking of the idea "everything changes" as a rule. It helps me feel like I'm in control because the change happens while I'm already expecting inconsistency in life, one more bonus of this thought is when things get tough, well they'll change!. I'm not saying it's enough to wait for the change to happen tho :).
What really saves me is having at least one contact, one person I trust, one who understands my struggles and doesn't make me feel like an alien from other planet. I have a dear friend like that. I hope that you have someone like that in your life, if you don't then I hope that you at least had met one before. Think of them more, maybe talk to them more. More people like them definitely exist. Maybe also think of one place where you felt like you belonged even if it was only for an hour and hold on to the thought of it, picture it again, let your brain revisit it for few minutes and it might feel bit safe again for a while.
Also, when I'm feeling your feelings I find it very hard to do all what I recommended here . I hope it was helpful
Thank you so much for you kind words and good ideas. I have had times I have felt connected I just can't maintain them. I think ypur right tho. Sharing experiences here with other similar people is benificial.