Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi!
I have recently been diagnosed with autism. I'm in my mid-20s. I've found it helpful and frustrating at the same time. Helpful as it explains a lot but frustrating as I've spent so long trying to fit in to situations which were never for me. What practical advice do people have to finding practical support for your autism and balancing life's challenges and needs?
Thanks
Basic advice would include getting lots of downtime to minimise the chance of meltdowns.
Do what you want to do rather than doing things to fit in.
Unmask where possible, as this is an unnecessary stress we out on ourselves.
Try CBT or counselling for any self esteem, motivational or social/anxiety issues. You never know what might help unless you try it. (This is all we have on offer, and it isn’t tailored to ASD individuals BUT a good therapist might make adaptions for you).
Hello Doug and welcome .
I'm pleased you've had some of your questions answered. The only advice I can offer is be yourself and don't try to please others. If you're ever in a situation that makes you uneasy or uncomfortable , leave. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks , It's about you and being able to cope with your Autism in a calm and comfortable manner.
I was diagnosed with Autism in December 2022 And was discharged from the Community Mental Heath team in March or 2023 because they don't support people with Autism . There are no services in my area that support Autism . So I have become my own therapist and simply do the things I enjoy and keep myself occupied with healthy activities.
I hope you return here often . This community has a lot to offer .
Good Luck and take care
Hi Doug, welcome! I think the main gift of diagnosis (or discovery, as we should maybe think of it instead, though I do use the other word habitually a lot) is exactly hat you described: suddenly fitting the jigsaw together and adjusting perspective from 'I'm struggling' to 'I'm coping well considering'. Support is a trick concept - I'm not sure beyond moral support (which you'll find here in spades) there's much for those of us who are more invisibly autistic - no massive outward 'tells' at first glance, maybe working etc. Life will remain challenging and exhausting as society is shaped for non-autistic people for the forseeable future. And mitigating that requires giving yourself recuperation and recovery time more than an NT person would need, without any attendant guilt. As 'rest' is not a dirty word, nor is 'solitude'.
I think knowing for sure empowers us to do what we need for us, mask just a little less (though reflexive survival habits will of course persist of necessity to some degree), and be unapologetically authentic without fixating so much on comparison perhaps.
I think being in your 20s, you are in the most challenging decade for what you are 'expected' to be versus what you need. Middle age better aligns with our comfort zone, as by then our peers have somewhat met us half way. Though ny then the energy reservoir to cope even with more modest social engagement has ebbed significantly. So, you're at the first half of a trade-off see-saw in that regard, the tipping point some way off. But knowing early is good. I wish I had!
Regarding your request for 'practical advice'. ...
I suggest asking specific questions on this forum. I am trying to get such advice through an 'expert' via the nhs, but it seems the nhs dont do such advice or possess such expertise.
There are some good youtube channels that may also help.