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Every so often it hits me...

IntenseWorld

That I have Asperger's and I feel very negative and feel "why me?" and "it's not fair" and I feel angry.  I have a lot of siblings (my dad married 3 times) and 5 of them are full siblings and I am the only one with Asperger's.  I do have a sister with schizophrenia, which is genetically related to ASC, so I know she could say the same, but she doesn't have the same responsibilities I have and is usually so drugged up that she is less likely to dwell on the impact on her life.

Does anyone else get this anger and disappointment sometimes?

Parents

  • My life was certainly a lot better as a child. I had what many would call a happy childhood, and I agree. I had loving parents, a more or less stable home-life, plenty of holidays to the same location (my mum loves routine too!), and I had a sunny disposition.  I feel, however, that a part of me died when I hit puberty; this was when my anxieties increased and I developed mental health problems. I have always been anxious and timid, but my parents took responsibility when I was a child, and the big, scary world was kept at bay.

    I, too, had unrealistic dreams: I would get married age 20 and have my own cafe - food was my obsession. I lived in a fairy tale world of Bonny Bobby Shafto ('he'll come back and marry me'), and 'when I am a big girl' I will have this and that....

    Reality is so depressing, I agree. Life was categorically better when I was a child, whatever others try to tell me about living in the here and now and looking to the future. I don't do sugar-coating, and if something is sh** in reality, I don't want to air-brush it away. Uber optimism is grating. I don't want to wallow in self-pity or to live in the past, but I am nevertheless sad that things were once so different. Ignorance and innocence can be bliss.

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  • My life was certainly a lot better as a child. I had what many would call a happy childhood, and I agree. I had loving parents, a more or less stable home-life, plenty of holidays to the same location (my mum loves routine too!), and I had a sunny disposition.  I feel, however, that a part of me died when I hit puberty; this was when my anxieties increased and I developed mental health problems. I have always been anxious and timid, but my parents took responsibility when I was a child, and the big, scary world was kept at bay.

    I, too, had unrealistic dreams: I would get married age 20 and have my own cafe - food was my obsession. I lived in a fairy tale world of Bonny Bobby Shafto ('he'll come back and marry me'), and 'when I am a big girl' I will have this and that....

    Reality is so depressing, I agree. Life was categorically better when I was a child, whatever others try to tell me about living in the here and now and looking to the future. I don't do sugar-coating, and if something is sh** in reality, I don't want to air-brush it away. Uber optimism is grating. I don't want to wallow in self-pity or to live in the past, but I am nevertheless sad that things were once so different. Ignorance and innocence can be bliss.

Children
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