Every so often it hits me...

That I have Asperger's and I feel very negative and feel "why me?" and "it's not fair" and I feel angry.  I have a lot of siblings (my dad married 3 times) and 5 of them are full siblings and I am the only one with Asperger's.  I do have a sister with schizophrenia, which is genetically related to ASC, so I know she could say the same, but she doesn't have the same responsibilities I have and is usually so drugged up that she is less likely to dwell on the impact on her life.

Does anyone else get this anger and disappointment sometimes?

Parents
  • Mine has got worse as I have got older too.  I feel like now I have a whole separate Sensory Processing Disorder worthy of a diagnosis in it's own right and the smallest thing overwhelms me and I either want to meltdown or shutdown or have a panic attack.

    I was oblivious to a lot as a child too.  Apparently I didn't have friends and just used to play with my brother when I was infants age.

    I think what gets harder too as you get older, is that for instance I would always imagine life would be like the films (talk about taking things literally) and the more I found out it wasn't, the more depressing I found it.  The more I became aware of my difficulties and peoples' reactions and manipulations, the more I withdrew, became untrusting, paranoid and anxious.

    I can clearly remember my dreams, probably typical little girl dreams.  Now I am painfully aware of the reality and how can you feel hopeful when you have a concrete reason that things are never likely to be better?

     

Reply
  • Mine has got worse as I have got older too.  I feel like now I have a whole separate Sensory Processing Disorder worthy of a diagnosis in it's own right and the smallest thing overwhelms me and I either want to meltdown or shutdown or have a panic attack.

    I was oblivious to a lot as a child too.  Apparently I didn't have friends and just used to play with my brother when I was infants age.

    I think what gets harder too as you get older, is that for instance I would always imagine life would be like the films (talk about taking things literally) and the more I found out it wasn't, the more depressing I found it.  The more I became aware of my difficulties and peoples' reactions and manipulations, the more I withdrew, became untrusting, paranoid and anxious.

    I can clearly remember my dreams, probably typical little girl dreams.  Now I am painfully aware of the reality and how can you feel hopeful when you have a concrete reason that things are never likely to be better?

     

Children
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