Published on 12, July, 2020
This topic came up in another thread, and having struggled with the topic myself for about 5 decades, I'd like to see how the rest of you do it.
For me the response to an insult is often confusion. Did I hear that right? Does it mean what I think it means, and if so WhyTF are they insulting me?
AND HOW SHOULD I RESPOND??
Do you see all those nasty question marks? I don't LIKE having to find answers to questions, on the spot, in real time, that's for sure.
In my case I've always seen it as a form of combat, and I really, really, resent having "combat" in any form thrust upon me unexpectedly, so for many years I've not enjoyed that part of life.
Eventually, after much training and dedication I grew to be the "Butterbean" of insult exchangers, which was one way of solving the problem.
How is it for you?
I am someone who craves honest feedback from people about how they perceive me, my words, actions and behaviours.
I process "insults" in the same way that I process ALL honest feedback from people ie I'm grateful for it! I wish people would just tell me, directly, whether they like or dislike me in the moment ..... but this very rarely happens.
Insults are little packets of words that are bursting with useful information. If an "insult" or "threat" is thrown in my direction, it normally helps me to understand what type of other human (or animal) I am ACTUALLY dealing with and/or helps me adjust to tone, flavour, volume, lexicon, posture or subject matter. All helpful!
Unfortunately, my calm and scholarly reaction to insults and threats generally seem to exacerbate the passions / irritations / anger of the person trying to upset me with the insult / threat.
Ultimately, over the years, I have learned not to engage with petty minded or damaged souls who like to try and dish out insults or threats in my direction. Whilst this can leave me festering for a sort time (what I would have liked to have retorted with / how I would have so very readily "contained" things if they got physically out of hand etc) Ultimately, I'm not a fan of "yappy" dogs that snap around my ankles - so I just walk on by - ever so slightly wiser.