Published on 12, July, 2020
Unless it’s because I’m male or something. I certainly seem to have been discriminated against.
In 2019, people made false accusations about me and got me kicked out of a netball club in Stirling.
I tried to find another netball club, but the netball clubs I contacted were all reluctant to tell me anything about themselves, and when I asked further questions about them they just stopped replying or whatever. I also contacted the netball club in Stirling about rejoining, because their constitution says I can ask to rejoin at the next general meeting. They ignored me.
I contacted Netball Scotland, and asked them to investigate why I was being treated the way I was by these 4 netball clubs, and was told they’d investigate it.
I turned up at 1 of the netball clubs (they’d told me they weren’t playing because of the Covid 19 pandemic, and they’d tell me when they started playing again, but never did tell me), and played netball with them anyway. I literally only played there 6 times before they found an excuse to get me suspended by Netball Scotland!
In September 2022, I had the police at my flat, saying that I’d contacted someone at netball saying I need some new friends, and asking me not to contact her again. Then the next day, I got an e-mail saying I’d been suspended from Netball Scotland. They didn’t even say anything about why!
Eventually I found out that the reason I was suspended was, among other things, that I’d allegedly “communicated with a club member, Christina [surname removed by mod], that was uninvited and persistent which placed her in a state of fear and alarm”. I’d sent her 1 message on facebook, she’d replied, and then I replied to her message; and I’d only asked perfectly normal things like “How long have you been playing netball?” and “Where do you live?”
1 of the other reasons for the suspension was that I’d chased Natalie up about her investigation about netball clubs not wanting me to join. I’d supposedly failed to show her respect.
This post’s getting a bit long, so to cut a long story short, I had a hearing in March 2023 about it. And all the complaints against me were upheld, and I’ve been suspended by Netball Scotland for 5 years!
They haven’t answered any of my questions such as “What’s wrong with being friendly?” or “What’s wrong with doing to others what I would have them do to me?” or “What’s wrong with asking Natalie to do her job?”.
What happened at Stirling was brought up to demonstrate a “pattern of behaviour”, but nobody even told me what this pattern of behaviour was. The accusations there were completely different.
I’d put a complaint in about Natalie not having done anything about her investigation. Is this the real reason I’ve been suspended?
Oh 2 other questions that have never been answered are “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I was a woman?” and “Would I have had the same reaction to contacting Christina if I didn’t have Asperger’s syndrome?”
So I seem to have been discriminated against.
…
I'd be happier with a note about the crime than with insensitive joke, because when those notes accumulate, the situation becomes clearer. If many people who don't know each other make the same accusation towards someone then the chances are that they are telling some truth. Even this small reaction in a police station translates to me as "I'm believed". There's another way is to make the harraser write a paper that they shouldn't approach or be close to the victim. Another measurement could be checking the history of this person or moving the victim to a community center where it could be safe, or escorting or keeping an eye on the victim to "scare" the harraser away for a while. Those measurements are small and don't protect everyone, harrasers can easily avoid them. Some serious work should be considered to make our justice system more fair to everyone and effective, but for now, I'm happy with those small measurements instead of turning into an amusement for the police officer.
Oh I agree. Tbh I'd always encourage someone to go to the police in that situation. They needed to take accusations seriously even if the chance of conviction is low. But sadly if some one goes to report a crime days or weeks after the event often there is little they can do but make a note of the crime. Generally they'll wheel in who ever you accused for an interview and unless they spontaneously blurt out a confession that's often the end of it.
It's just part of the crime statistics. But that's not totally pointless those statistics get used to decide where money gets spent.
As I already wrote in a previous reply here. It's not about putting someone in jail based on an accusation that isn't supported by any evidence. On the other hand, it's unacceptable to joke about such situations in a place like police station. There should be a place in the middle where it's fair for everyone.
It’s how they deem it? They banned for 5 years after which he’s probably gonna be too old to rejoin? Discriminatory court claims has a deadline of 6 months after that no action can be taken!!
Yes it would be a grave mistake to wait 5 years to bring a case ... assuming there is a case to bring the clock is definitely ticking.
Professionals actually told me they let ASD people to commit criminal acts so the Criminal courts to deal with - eg. If they’re in prison they’re no longer cost their authority any money!
Yeah that's disgasful. there is definitely more work to be done on this. Luke Beardon has actually written somewhat about this in his thesis I recommend it (mostly chapter 6).
exactly. Our legal system is not based on belief it's based of scepticism and th need for proof. Our legal systems hashtag would be #canyouproveit. I'm really sorry you had to go through some awful stuff. But our legal system is founded on proof not belief for a reason.
If you had two kids who are fighting and both have different equally plausible stories about how it was the other kids fault what do you do? Its the same in court. In any criminal case the testimony of the accused and accuser are always the most suspect because both have their own agenda. You've got to have other evidence. And its usually very difficult to get evidence of violent crime unless its reported soon after the event.
Steven said: you've somehow overlooked the extraordinary measures taken against him (police involvement, an exceptionally long ban etc etc)
Not at all. large organisations frequently get their obligations under discrimination law very very wrong when it comes to autism and a visit from the police doesn't necessarily signify anything other than a complaint being made to the police. The police generally do get involved when accusations of harassment are thrown around, not because actual harassment is taking place, but because they reason making people aware that they are watching the situation will keep things from escalating to the point that there might be harassment going on.
Steven said:why would your default position be to agree that he has been discriminated against when his own words imply not discrimination but persistently troubling actions and attitudes regarding women?
I'm not at all persuaded they do but even if they did that doesn't mean discrimination law doesn't apply. Even if there is a genuine cause for concern about him discrimination law can still require that those concerns be approached a different way and lead to different outcomes.
Well, I am reading an article in Nytimes talking about how the word "all" was added to the slogan later to weaponize it for political reasons. It has never been the original slogan that feminists published. It was "I believe her". I think it's also very good to understand the situation before being angry about it. Feminism isn't the mosnter that is aimed to ruin the lives of others or push for injustice. Presenting it in this way makes it so easy to attack it.
again, i didnt say all women use it.... "all women" is part of it itself lolgoogle it... google "believe all women" and you might find it... they use the term "all women" themselves, i cant really mention it without putting it like that because thats how their movement is listed, thats the name of their movement not my words, their name lol
Well, I have seen some men being abused and bullied by women. I'm not ok with this. Evil could come in the shape of a cute small girl. A huge man can be a teddy bear. I am not a stereotype fan. I'm also not a fan of generalisations like "all". So, I'm also not a fan of "all women use the new hashtag to get away with their wrongdoings" kind of statement. I know that I don't do this, and I know plenty of my friends who won't. I am hoping that, if one day, you was a police officer and a girl came to your office scared and asking for protection against some man, that you would give her a chance and listen (this is already believing). Those men usually have a record, the man that harrased me did the same with many other women. The complaint should, at least, be filed for future reference instead of being joked about. If many women who don't know each other have the same complaint, then the chances are they are telling some truth. A woman who lives with the harraser, even without an evidence that the man is evil, should be sent to a community center where she can sleep safely instead of being made fun of and end up homeless!. I'm suggesting theoretically that both men in both these stories are angels and that the women have absolutely no evidence against them, still, if there is only a 20% possibility that this person is telling the truth and that they are in real danger, then something should be done about it to secure their safety. This is what believing them is about. It's not necessarily to ruin someone's life but maybe to keep a record of the potential harraser record and secure the potential victim safety. I'm just suggesting that the new hashtag is aiming towards similar measurements and not aimed to use gender as an excuse to gain extra privileges or ruin the lives of men!.
the "all women" thing was a hashtag that i stole from a womens rights groups that stated if a woman accuses a man of anything she should be believed without question and the man should be automatically jailed without being able to defend himself from it. was a actually movement that got full left wing support and media support, it was madness... and dangerous... that is true privilege if they get their way with that and makes everyone who isnt a woman basically a slave with no rights at all and can be jailed at a whim.the bigger stronger thing is part of my stereotype point. society thinks men are bigger and stronger, even when a man is a 6 stone 4 foot starved and anorexic compared to a well fed 7 foot woman who is 12 stone and goes to the gym each day society would still say the man has the power and is bigger and stronger due to stereotyping lol and so consider the man evil for them perceiving him as bigger and stronger and perceive him as never being able to be a victim, failing to see reality through blindness to stereotypes.also even if one is bigger and stronger it doesnt mean to say they are the big bad evil persecutor. they could be a gentle giant. so i never get societys assumptions. but ofcourse its mostly all..man bad... man stronger, man privileged so is evil lol despite the fact when you look at it men are the disposable gender that actually has least rights and most suspicion on them and more hostility towards them and least social help or care. such a situation is likely caused by the stereotyping. which is funny because the ones worse off are always the ones society claim are the better off, if society thinks one is privileged then society turns against that person and takes away basic things thinking they are so privileged they dont need basic human rights or any help at all in life, this then makes the so called privileged person in society a second class citisen, making it very much worse in the fact their privilege didnt exist in the first place and they was regular struggling humans who needed the help that society then ripped away from them on assumption of their privilege. making them be less off than others and making everyone else privileged compared to them and have a advantage over them.
I agree that the human rights that we have now could be improved.. a lot. The situation where someone uses the stereotype to get away with their wrongdoing is popular not only in women/men situation but also in other situations like white/person of colour situation. The police would more often unfortunately tend to believe the person with lighter skin colour. I never said that this is ok. What I said that it's not true at all that all women are believed. I understand the anger towards dishonesty and manipulation, but I don't understand the anger towards all women. I understand the frustration towards the stereotype, I hate stereotyping, and I understand the frustration towards the behaviour of some women, but I don't understand the anger towards all women. Women are still so far from being over privileged. They are still very far from being believed.
I find it funny that you started your discussion with emphasising that your frustration is towards humans regardless of their gender, but later you devided those humans to ones who are bigger and stronger and those who aren't.
not really, some HUMANS are just fed up with other HUMANS lying about things to get people tossed in jail and ruin their lives.this ofcourse then ruins it for other HUMANS that actually truly go through stuff and need help...also kinda sick of how some humans want more rights and privileges than others and always seem to get first in line of everything. disaster happens, save them first and no one cares about the others? lol split up from partnership, this one gets everything you get nothing... any argument, this ones right and your wrong, any confrontation your the one persecuted and hit by the law because your so called the big strong one so can take having your life constantly assailed and ruined even when your the victim, your big and strong one stereotypically so your never a victim. human rights in this modern age is garbage and needs rewriting. that will likely fix all sides and all cases but we never get it because were only ever focused on one side all the time. and it is a old fashioned steroetyping problem where all these issues tend to originate from anyway.
Believing forensic evidence is one thing and believingallwomen is another.
Honestly in terms of evidence the only way is forensics; to go to the police almost immediately after it happens and get bruises photographed to get swabs taken bodily fluids catalogued and tested this is the only way. Unless an attacker was stupid enough to film the incident or by some freak coincidence It was CCTV or a witness it’s almost impossible to get a conviction for this sort of offence without forensic evidence.
My friends story doesn't end there. She actually became homeless, literally, because she was too scared to live in her apartment and was struggling with depression so no job to pay for moving to a new flat. Still a #believeallwomen thing suppoter?. Sometimes I get the feeling that some men hate the fact that women are fighting to get their natural rights and to be more safe. I don't know where this view against women's rights, even while they are going through situations like, comes from!?.
Not at all. When I contacted a lawyer to file a complaint about a man who forced himself physically on me (lucky didn't go far). The lawyer said (if you go to the police with this, they will laugh at it and send you away, you need evidence that it happened). But how the hell do you get evidence for something like this?!. My friend in Germany had similar situation where the police actually made a joke about the situation and sent her back home, the harraser was her flatmate!!. #believeallwomen my a**. It's so untrue that we are believed. Lot of a**holes are still getting away with it.
usually when people ask where you live they dont mean your street, postcode and address.... they mean more like the town... i do this myself at work if anyone talks to me. you ask a person where they live... as in town... as in bolton, or warraington or any villiage or whatever... so you can then get a feeling of how far they came to work and the direction... then perhaps if you have no vehicle and they go in the same direction you can ask them for a lift back lol
it is gender discrimination though as what stops him from turning around and saying she sexually harrassed him by giving him eye contact or speaking to him too? lol should work both ways...seems its ok for women to get away with murder, they can just go up and put their hands down peoples pants and stick their fingers up strangers arses without consent. but yet if a man so much as says "hello" to a woman is sexual harrassment lol this world is sick and needs drastic changes.