Are autistic people known for being wild in bed and actively sought out by NTs? I saw a post on reddit where an NT said they did that and implied that it's common knowledge that some NTs do that because autistic people have that reputation. Anyone know?
We're not getting into another tortious argument about consent here.
You don't HAVE to but that's where it looked like it was going. My concern is that it would be a shame to have people have to fall out over a misunderstanding and not a genuine point that was made.
No one needs to consent to me or anyone else having a desire for romantic and or sexual relationships. A persons desires is not a thing to which consent applies. If I'm stranded in a boat with another person and I'm starving to death the fact that the only other food in the boat is the other person doesn't invalidate my hunger or the pain of starvation.
The same thing applies to sex. If someone is stuck on a desert island with one other person they don't need that persons permission to be horny. It doesn't invalidate their suffering and pain just because that suffering is caused by some one else's choice not to consent.
I don't see where HP said to the contrary of this tbh. My understanding of HP's point is that despite not having control over how others feel that doesn't mean certain behaviours are moral. You might be hungry enough to commit cannibalism in a desert isle situation but I believe HP's point is it is still murder. Your hunger doesn't give you the right to kill and eat another person, so yes it really does boil down to consent still.
Personal arousal and the desire for a sexual relationship is not a consent issue. Its more a bodily imperative most people don't even have a choice over.
The implications of this example are that "r*pe is (somehow) acceptable" because desire isn't something you can control if you don't acknowledge that behaviour is something that can be controlled.
So yes, it is all coming around to consent again. It just is.
But lets leave it there if you don't want to discuss it. (To my knowledge we have had discussions, but never had an "argument" on the topic, as that implies a fight of some kind which requires a winner and loser.)
Right, but no one needs to feel sorry for you either. Given the choice between feeling sorry for you moping about how horny you are, or feeling sorry for someone who is literally screaming and sobbing from physical pain, I am never going to see you as the victim.
not really. We're not getting into another tortious argument about consent here.
No one needs to consent to me or anyone else having a desire for romantic and or sexual relationships. A persons desires is not a thing to which consent applies. If I'm stranded in a boat with another person and I'm starving to death the fact that the only other food in the boat is the other person doesn't invalidate my hunger or the pain of starvation.
The same thing applies to sex. If someone is stuck on a desert island with one other person they don't need that persons permission to be horny. It doesn't invalidate their suffering and pain just because that suffering is caused by some one else's choice not to consent.
Personal arousal and the desire for a sexual relationship is not a consent issue. Its more a bodily imperative most people don't even have a choice over.
Sorry Peter but that looks like a misconstruement considering the replies have already strayed from the original point. HP's language in that last reply is hyperbolic to prove an emotional point since you are discussing emotions, so it can't be read to be literally about genocides, it's about consent and the right to autonomy. (sometimes it's difficult to read between the lines being autistic, but I just about figured it out myself so) Hope that helps.
If no one is willing to have a sexual relationship with you, then it's not loving or consensual, is it? Hitler saying "oh but I would really like the jews to enjoy and consent to being gassed" wouldn't make his desire to kill them any better, or make his sadness at not being allowed to any more worthy of sympathy.
This is like saying "oh think of the pain of poor Mr Hitler when he was stopped from putting any more people into gas chambers. He really, really liked doing that and the meanie allies stopped him! He was so upset he killed himself. Why won't you please think of his melancholy longing to torture and kill people, instead of only caring about the people who were tortured and killed. His pain was just as valid as theirs!"
dunno, never had sex lol
never been pursued as a sex object.
i guess this is mainly NT men going after ASD women? ... this is likely because the NT men cannot get a girl and think ASD women would be easy due to being the type to not socialise and perhaps never had been given the chance to experience sex instead?
Maybe PDA has saved my backside a few times then because my response to people coming on heavy handed has always been a stern "eff off" even where alcohol was involved.
If you don't recognise melancholy as painful I don't think you truly understand it. Why do you think there are so many people who turn to physical pain (often in the form of self harm) to cope with their melancholy? You know there are people who self harm because they can't make these connections and have these sexual experiences right? Do you deny their pain?
I would say that I may have done things because I was trying to work out what Ii was supposed to be doing, and only afterwards reviewing it to work out if I actually enjoyed it. It's difficult as typically you don't get an instant review of your performance, and people discuss you when you aren't there to hear it. I don't know if I was wile or not, as I was trying to do things I hear were pleasurable, or that people like. Because of not knowing where I stand I sort of went off the whole thing in the end. If I ever do it again, it will be with someone who's is prepared to talk about it properly so it doesn't feel like I'm tying to change a tire in the rain with no experience.
I'm sorry that's been your experience. Your choice not to have sex is valid and should be respected ... However I ask you to entertain the possibility that for those who do desire romantic and sexual relationships the inability to attain them is also a form of pain.
Im so sorry you went through this, it does leave a scar, 40+ years on, there’s never really a day when I don’t regress. It ends up as just another scar. We often just wanted to be loved but couldn’t understand love from manipulation.
It's me. I'm the problem.
You can all blame me and my long list of conquests for this rumour. I can't help it, I'm a sensory seeker.
Although I have calmed down now that I'm a parent with responsibilities.
(This is a half joking comment. I was actually sexually abused and it changed a lot of my opinions about sex and it became something that I used to feel connected to people.)
I’ve read through a lot of the comments and agree with some of them. It’s not only women who can be groomed and abused, take it from me young males are abused as well. I’ve mentioned this recently, I spoke to a professional also recently, I just said that I didn’t know the rules and felt special. I was told, “yes you didn’t know the rules, they did!
