• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 3909 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Autism obsession with a person

JuB65

Hi, I haven’t been diagnosed but my son has Aspergers as do other members of my family and I’m pretty sure I have too (I’m currently going through the assessment process). I’m 57 and female. I’ve been happily married for 25 years, have 3 children and was totally in love with my husband. I was obsessed with him from the moment I met him and haven’t looked at another man since and was convinced we’d be together till the day I died. All well and good until he left me last summer and I really have fallen to pieces. The last 9 months have really convinced me that I have Aspergers because of the way I’ve reacted as well as looking back to my childhood and teenage years and the way I’ve always been. Anyway I’m now convinced that he is my Asperger’s obsession. I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me and today she’s told me that she can’t do anything more for me because I’m so obsessed with him and am utterly convinced I’ll never find another man attractive and will never feel the same again so I’ll either end up single, lonely and unhappy or with someone I’m not happy with and unhappy. I’m absolutely refusing to be open to any other possibilities because I know he’s the love of my life and the only person for me. It’s awful. Anyway, I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this or something similar and if there is anything I can do, or anyone I can talk to or see to help?

Parents

  • Firstly, I’m your age, female, and currently being assessed too, and can empathise with you re your situation. However, there's no easy solution. I’ve had more than one partner and in the past have had to, let’s say, learn to curb my obsessional behaviour re certain individuals. It’s a very difficult emotion to control, but it can be; and the fact, that you’re conscious of it, and seeing a therpist - although not necessarily the right one for you -  is the first step to controlling it.

    I taught myself to do so. as I’ve had people obsessed with me and I found it overwhelming, so based on my own experience I was eventually able to manage it.  It will never go away, but you can learn to manipulate it and move your thoughts in another direction.  

    When you’ve lived with an individual, as long as you have and focused so much of your energy on that person, you will need the right kind of support to come to terms with the situation.

    In my experience, it's best to try more than one therapist, until you feel comfortable... Just think of it like this, therapists are trained to listen, in order for you to work through the situation, hence you cannot depend on a therapist to solve the issue, that’s down to you. I trained as a counsellor, but did not pursue it as a career. What I'd suggest, if you feel comfortable doing so, is getting your feelings down on paper, if it works you'll gain some clarity and calm the obsessional thoughts whirling through your mind, basically, making it easier to navigate your way through the situation. Be gentle with yourself, it will take time, but you can do it.

Reply Children
No Data