Published on 12, July, 2020
I have came out to 4 people in my life about my autism so far. I have considered all of them as caring empathetic people. 2 of them were very nice, offering to listen to me since it's a lot of things in mind and lot of feelings. The other two had a reaction that surprised me. One said nothing but "thank you for sharing" and right after that asked me for a favor. It felt like this big reveal of mine ment nothing to them. The other one asked me "is it officially diagnosed?" And didn't respond to my answer only a day after writing a message "do you want to hang out?". I'm sad because of these reactions and I honestly don't know how to interpret them.. it felt like they don't care or understand how huge of a deal this is for me.. did anyone have similar experiences?
Hi Ree.
Yes, divulging one's autistic reality to others is NOT the joyous and happy event that one might expect. That has certainly been my experience and it is one that many others have shared widely on these pages.
I don't have time to write at length here, but my strong advice to you is.....be VERY careful to whom, when and how you explain your reality to others. Moreover, until you are completely settled in your own head about what you know, don't tell anyone at all. I have lost friends of 30+ years ... they are not bad people .... but simply couldn't cope or believe what they were told. .. and evidently concluded that they simply needed to cease all communication with me. Very sad, but very true.
Prejudice against autistic people runs MUCH deeper than I had appreciated.
Take care Ree.
Kind regards
Number.
Of the four friends I told, one didn't react very much at all, but treats me in exactly the same way as he always has done, one suspected that they were also autistic, one has an autistic son, so was already onboard with everything autism, and the last one wrote such a very kind and supportive message that I came very close to tears reading it. So most responses were very positive and none were negative.
To me it honestly feels like a disappointment. I thought that they cared much more. I expected more compassion or care. I expected some sort of support or a listening ear. Or maybe a genuine gratitude that I'm sharing my vulnerable self with them.. I feel like I've lost two friends or like I'm too naive to think that they were caring in the first place.. and I also feel like maybe their reaction has been ok and normal but I'm expecting too much of people.. I am not sure what to think of their reactions. I know that it felt so bad. I'm avoiding them recently. I'm disappointed in our friendship all together and I'm not so excited to see them again..