Published on 12, July, 2020
I have came out to 4 people in my life about my autism so far. I have considered all of them as caring empathetic people. 2 of them were very nice, offering to listen to me since it's a lot of things in mind and lot of feelings. The other two had a reaction that surprised me. One said nothing but "thank you for sharing" and right after that asked me for a favor. It felt like this big reveal of mine ment nothing to them. The other one asked me "is it officially diagnosed?" And didn't respond to my answer only a day after writing a message "do you want to hang out?". I'm sad because of these reactions and I honestly don't know how to interpret them.. it felt like they don't care or understand how huge of a deal this is for me.. did anyone have similar experiences?
No way would I. I don't want the stigma, nor to be thought of as Ill, or broken, though I am encouraged by the way some famous people have felt secure enough in their success and clout to come out.
Maybe autism is an illbess or a disability, and when there are people who have no way to conmunicate their distress and keep banging their heads until they destroy their eyes, it does look a bit like a dungeon. Then there are those who will say it confers very special traits too, and while it may or may not be a woke thing, I don't mind seeing neurotypical getting a few well-aimed potshots for their horrendous limitations.
Why don't we look for a cure for being human? Because it does seem that something, somewhere is wrong with our species. This is after all the ape that doesn't mind committing acts of atrocity when not just demonstrating petty cruelty and ignorance, is capable of destroying the planet several times over, leaves no room for other species to exist, and is continuing to heat the planet up beyond the point of no return due to short-termism and greed.
A counsellor did once tell he could see autistic traits in me, though another decided I must be schizoid. Cheers! Someone I knew me in the 90' looked at me and said very emphatically ' I guessed,' drawing attention to the way I tended to 'space out.'