Published on 12, July, 2020
I have came out to 4 people in my life about my autism so far. I have considered all of them as caring empathetic people. 2 of them were very nice, offering to listen to me since it's a lot of things in mind and lot of feelings. The other two had a reaction that surprised me. One said nothing but "thank you for sharing" and right after that asked me for a favor. It felt like this big reveal of mine ment nothing to them. The other one asked me "is it officially diagnosed?" And didn't respond to my answer only a day after writing a message "do you want to hang out?". I'm sad because of these reactions and I honestly don't know how to interpret them.. it felt like they don't care or understand how huge of a deal this is for me.. did anyone have similar experiences?
For me it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. It was like everyone felt they had to walk on broken egg shells around me, and one friend decided she didn't want a friend with autism which hurt a lot as we'd been close since school. People reacted in a way I hadn't initially thought they would and now, I'm left feeling hurt and wishing I had kept the diagnosis to myself.
Oh, that sounds even worse than mine. Thank you for sharing this and I'm really sorry that you had to go through it.
I think for people like us particularly we get a false image of people and aren't always able to read them. I've always found this with people. I find them confusing, to say the least.
I'm starting to realize this. I tend to believe that people have pure intentions or good will and I feel naive later when I realise that they have agenda that benefits them and our relationship isn't simply two humans who care about each other and enjoy the company. Most times other intentions are in the play and it shows when I actually need them to care. Maybe I am so naive .. I wonder why is it so hard for people to just genuinely care about each other and be so clear about their intentions and give false impressions. When someone spends lot of time with me saying stuff like "I value our friendship" then I'm very surprised when they aren't willing to listen when I need to ventilate or when it turns out that they are looking for sex or work interest. Well, why not just say that instead of pretending that we are friends?!?.