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Stopping wanting to conform

Billy87

Question, at what point in your life did you stop caring about conforming to what everyone else was. At what point did trying to fit in and be like everyone else stop mattering to you, or is it something you still care about?

Parents

  • In my mid-teens I realised that people were always going to find me weird whatever I did, so I just started doing it on purpose. It's nice to fit in because you're around people who share your interests, rather than because you're working hard to be 'normal', but these days I would rather just find those people.

    Most of the masking I've been doing this whole time is because I don't want to look rude, rather than not wanting to look weird. I know my need for certainty and clarity of language can come across to NT people as rudeness, and I know that my need for routine can come across to them as selfishness. Those are the things that I hide from them.

    But being Normal? Nah. Don't care.

  • in reply to battybats

    The point you made about masking to avoid being rude really clarifies what I have done. Thanks for that.

    I have communication issues, including interrupting people as they speak, pointing out incorrect things they say or lies they tell. I have an intense need for factual information. To me, things are true or not true, black or white with no grey areas. My masking helps with not interrupting and looking interested by nodding my head or making sounds showing agreement. I try to control my confrontation with incorrect information and lies but if it's building up in me and/or it's important in the situation then I politely say something. I care more about correct information than I care about being liked (by people I don't respect or like)

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  • in reply to battybats

    The point you made about masking to avoid being rude really clarifies what I have done. Thanks for that.

    I have communication issues, including interrupting people as they speak, pointing out incorrect things they say or lies they tell. I have an intense need for factual information. To me, things are true or not true, black or white with no grey areas. My masking helps with not interrupting and looking interested by nodding my head or making sounds showing agreement. I try to control my confrontation with incorrect information and lies but if it's building up in me and/or it's important in the situation then I politely say something. I care more about correct information than I care about being liked (by people I don't respect or like)

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