Learning to drive is overwhelming

I hate driving, I was a first time pass but I was having lessons for three years before hand. The faults I got were for driving too slowly. 

I can now drive, but I have a general limit of 45 mins at a time, 1:30 hours if I really push it but then I can't do any more driving that day, and I have to sleep. 

It does kind of get better with time, and I can certainly get out of practice, but yes it is tremendously overwhelming every time, and yes people don't understand that. I try to stick to quiet roads and lanes and try to avoid driving at night, which helps too. 

Other things that help. Especially around events. 

- I always have a 10 minute buffer either side of every car journey. Does this mean I turn up to places 20 mins early quite often, yes, does this give me lots of time to recuperate so I'm ready for the next thing, yes. So yeah, put buffer time in to just sit in the car and reset slightly before you head off.

- Weirdly enough, having music on, it just takes some of that worrying brain power away, especially on longer journeys. 

- Quiet times, leave early in the morning, avoid rush hour at all costs and try to do quiet back roads, even though it takes longer

Hope that helps and you feel like you're not the only one.

You're not alone in these struggles. A lot of people with autism struggle to learn to drive. I started learning at 19, I'm 26 now and I still haven't passed! I get so anxious behind the wheel, especially during the test and I think I can't focus on everything that I need to and that's going on. My brain gets overloaded and I start to make mistakes. I did the exact same thing at school, during tests and exams. I'll keep trying but it is disheartening each time I fail. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll pass in the end.

I got driving lessons at 18. I never felt equal to the task though, never passed. 

Judging distances between the car and the road were difficult and seemed very scary, and I could never imagine driving becoming instinctive. But at 17, our family had had a serious accident whilst in France, my mother had multiple injuries, myself concussion and a broken jaw. That was the second accident that holiday. The ambulance taking us to the port got a flat tire, then there was another near miss on the way home in the UK! 

Maybe should have mentioned all that to my instructors. 

I passed at the SEVENTH go, back in 2007; aged 28.

However, some road setups - here in Northern Ireland - fry my brain. And they're light beer compared to the British roads I witnessed by coach.

The examiners, in our country, are predominantly Bike men. They expect us to anticipate a motorcycle approaching; especially at this time of the year. However, I am growing in confidence.

Yes. I got a third-attempt pass too. On the first two attempts I got flustered too easily, but on the third attempt I was lucky in finding a sympathetic instructor. Perhaps he recognised my condition even though I didn't understand it at the time.

I'm quite an experienced driver now but I still get stressed from my indignation at other drivers' aggressiveness and carelessness (not that my driving is perfect). Also, as with you, there's sometimes too much information to process and I make a wrong turn. When that happens I remind myself that I'm different and there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I practise a route at a quiet time to prepare for when I need to do it for real. 

It may never be easy for you but experience will help.

i never drove a car, but i always assumed it would be more stressfull.... too many buttons and interface, too many stuff to interact with.... the car is too wide for roads giving no room between lanes and the opposite side driver coming other way always cuts over the lanes anyway and digs into your lane, this gives cars no room to manuever or feel safe in.

i ride motorbike, so i have alot of room to evade and manuever in my own lane while shaking my head at car drivers from the other way clearly driving over the center line into my lane, if i had a car id have crashed many times over by head on collision due to other drivers doing that.

also motorbike is very simple and has no distractions and very basic control and interface. very easy to operate. 
drawbacks are lack of weather protection, and stability is effected by road conditions and weather more.

I can drive but it is energy intensive, I’m better on journey’s that I know well and when the roads are quiet. Driving at peak times, in unfamiliar places or complex road systems (inner cities with one way systems or weird roundabouts) is particularly stressful. Also night driving with all the lights, I can find it hard to process. And parking, not knowing where I can park when going somewhere or not being able to find parking is overwhelming. 

On days when I’m low energy, driving would be a pretty difficult challenge for me, and even on good days can leave me drained of energy. I’ve been driving consistently for probably 8 years now, and yeah, it can still be a struggle. I think it’s about knowing yourself and not overcommitting. If you don’t need to drive, don’t. Stick to short journeys that you know well. Avoid peak times.

You’re definitely not alone in this struggle

I passed my test in 2005, using my mother's tiny little car on quiet country roads. I drove a few times after that and then went to uni, then moved to a big city, where I absolutely wouldn't be able to manage driving. I gave up cycling as well because of the traffic and walk everywhere as that feels safer. I keep my license renewed because it's useful as photo ID but I doubt I'll ever drive again.

Donnie'sEyebrow said:

But driving is starting to become something I dread. I guess I really would just love to know that I'm not alone, it's hard not to feel isolated in my experiences a lot of the time.

When the road’s busy and you are stressed it can feel overwhelming for the first few years. You will get used to it. Even I find long drives down the motorway at night or in bad weather stressful. Don’t really like to go much more than an hour with out a break. But a 45 minute drive through rush hour is now mostly just an annoyance. Most probably you will get to this point too if you persevere. May take a few years. Till then maybe plan breaks on longer journeys or try to drive at quieter times?