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Heart dropping when I miss a social cue

Matcha

Can anyone relate to this? I get so scared when I miss social cues, always more so than the actual 'scary' event itself. I was in a grievance meeting with my employer - something I probably should've been petrified about, but wasn't actually stressed about - and saw a bottle of water on the table and glasses of water. I completely missed the social cue that I was supposed to pour water and offer it to everyone, until my colleague who was with me in the meeting mentioned it to me afterwards by the by. 

My heart dropped and my heart rate probably shot up 50 beats. I was really scared that I'd missed the social cue. This is an almost daily occurrence for me, always when I miss a cue that involves other people my brain seems to think "I was supposed to do that? (confusion) - Someone will shout at me - I'm going to be punished" my brain just seems to stop in the moment I realise I've missed a cue.

Maybe I just can't tell which missed social cues don't matter, and which ones do matter/ will make people upset with me/have bad consequences?

Parents

  • I can relate to this a lot. I'm always cringing at myself imagining what others must think of me when I realise I've missed a social cue. I'm going to try to be more kind to myself about this now.

    Like Shardovan I really can't see the problem with the water. I've never heard of any specific protocols in meetings around water other than to have it available if you're the one setting up the meeting. I've had it pointed out before that it's available (not every time) and once or twice if I've been clearly nervous or upset then people have asked me if I'd like a glass of water but again, not every time. If you were the one giving evidence to the meeting or being interviewed then if anything, people should be doing it for you. 

    I hope your meeting went well anyway.

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  • I can relate to this a lot. I'm always cringing at myself imagining what others must think of me when I realise I've missed a social cue. I'm going to try to be more kind to myself about this now.

    Like Shardovan I really can't see the problem with the water. I've never heard of any specific protocols in meetings around water other than to have it available if you're the one setting up the meeting. I've had it pointed out before that it's available (not every time) and once or twice if I've been clearly nervous or upset then people have asked me if I'd like a glass of water but again, not every time. If you were the one giving evidence to the meeting or being interviewed then if anything, people should be doing it for you. 

    I hope your meeting went well anyway.

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