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What was your life like before you knew you were autistic?

Homebird

There have been quite a few comments recently since the recent documentaries about the experiences of those of us who are older. This made me wonder how my life would have been like had I known why some things were difficult. I spent a lot of my life wishing I could relate to others more easily, like others I came in contact with.  I guess since knowing I have wished less to be like others and tried to accept how I am. 

I had some interesting experiences in my younger days, including a few trips to interesting places abroad. I am glad I have those memories. However today I find a lot of ordinary things challenging and am happy to be at home a lot of the time. I have always found home to be my safe place, but occasionally managed to go beyond my comfort zone.

How have others found the change since knowing they were autistic?

Parents

  • For me, it's been such a relief to discover that I can stop trying to fix myself now. It's been obvious my whole life that there was something 'wrong' with me - I could never seem to fit in with the popular kids, so hung around the edges with other geeks and misfits like me. Then immediately after sixth form college, I fell into an abusive relationship which meant becoming completely isolated from everyone except him and by the time I managed to move on from that, I was - I now realise - in complete burnout, I'd gone mute and I couldn't speak to anyone. I figured I was broken by this relationship and needed fixing. So I've spent much of my adult life trying to work out how I'm broken and how to move on from this experience. Now I realise that this is just me and that's actually a huge relief - I can just rest up and accept that there are always going to be people I can't click with and that's ok. And more importantly than anything perhaps - I've discovered that there are tonnes of people just like me! I'm not the only weirdo out there, hooray! And I mean that in the most affectionate way of course!

    My opinion of others like me has also changed since I found out I'm autistic. It's brilliant to look at us as a whole community of people. I think we're a really vital part of society. In a way, we're the glue that holds it all together. We're the ones who perceive the deeper meaning, who discover the hidden depths, who piece together the disparate parts to understand how complex things work and who notice the jarring discomfort when the world is not in order. The popular kids at school never had the patience or interest to get to grips with any of that and I know that's a sweeping statement and won't be true in every case. But I think it's really important that the autistic community is valued and supported in the world because I think we have a huge amount to contribute.

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  • For me, it's been such a relief to discover that I can stop trying to fix myself now. It's been obvious my whole life that there was something 'wrong' with me - I could never seem to fit in with the popular kids, so hung around the edges with other geeks and misfits like me. Then immediately after sixth form college, I fell into an abusive relationship which meant becoming completely isolated from everyone except him and by the time I managed to move on from that, I was - I now realise - in complete burnout, I'd gone mute and I couldn't speak to anyone. I figured I was broken by this relationship and needed fixing. So I've spent much of my adult life trying to work out how I'm broken and how to move on from this experience. Now I realise that this is just me and that's actually a huge relief - I can just rest up and accept that there are always going to be people I can't click with and that's ok. And more importantly than anything perhaps - I've discovered that there are tonnes of people just like me! I'm not the only weirdo out there, hooray! And I mean that in the most affectionate way of course!

    My opinion of others like me has also changed since I found out I'm autistic. It's brilliant to look at us as a whole community of people. I think we're a really vital part of society. In a way, we're the glue that holds it all together. We're the ones who perceive the deeper meaning, who discover the hidden depths, who piece together the disparate parts to understand how complex things work and who notice the jarring discomfort when the world is not in order. The popular kids at school never had the patience or interest to get to grips with any of that and I know that's a sweeping statement and won't be true in every case. But I think it's really important that the autistic community is valued and supported in the world because I think we have a huge amount to contribute.

Children
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