Published on 12, July, 2020
My husband is a non diagnosed autistic person and he masks this all week at work.
When he is at home he just wants to hide in his office, he never comes out with me and the children, he won't visit places we want to visit because "everyone else is there" and he gets incredibly stressed and grumpy when it off his comfort zone so we just tend to leave him at home, however I feel like a single parent and I miss having someone to have adventures with.
I often wonder "what is the point" we sleep in separate rooms and although he says he loves me and I love him, it just doesn't feel like a "Normal relationship"
Can anyone offer any advice???
I can identfy with lots of the issues you have as a married autistic man. It is really going to be about compromise, its just wheather he will do that. His job is going to take up all his energy, I do IT support in schools and that is stressful enough, I see what teachers go through.
Some suggestions I have
1. Give him some time to decompress each day, make it a routine at a certian time. But insist he also makes time for the family, again as a routine.
2 does he have a special interest? Make time to do something based around that with him.
3. try and get time away from the kids, just the two of you, and somewhere quiet
4 For me I need my wife to be honest and direct with me, no ambiguity at all, I will not read between the lines, although we are all diffrent. However I also need time to think about what she says without giving an instant responce.
Your marage is very much worth working at, be kind to him, try and understand and hopefully you will get the same in responce. It is difficult but not impossible.