Published on 12, July, 2020
My husband is a non diagnosed autistic person and he masks this all week at work.
When he is at home he just wants to hide in his office, he never comes out with me and the children, he won't visit places we want to visit because "everyone else is there" and he gets incredibly stressed and grumpy when it off his comfort zone so we just tend to leave him at home, however I feel like a single parent and I miss having someone to have adventures with.
I often wonder "what is the point" we sleep in separate rooms and although he says he loves me and I love him, it just doesn't feel like a "Normal relationship"
Can anyone offer any advice???
My mother had this complaint about my dad and after we broke up it turned out my ex had it about me too. Unless you have explicitly told your husband how you feel, he likely has no idea it's an issue.
Try to connect with him on his terms. What does he like doing? What does he like to talk about?
Autistic people need a certain amount of solitude. It's not a nice to have or optional thing, it's a need on the same level as sleep or shelter. If that need isn't being met, it's unlikely he'll function well on any level.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is trying to make a relationship "normal." It's usually the "not normal" parts of a person that cause you to fall in love with them. If you try to make a relationship for every societal norm, you'll end up throwing out everything good about it.
As for someone to go on adventures with, there is no reason at all this has to be your husband. Decide what adventure you want to have and find a friend or someone else who is interested in doing that thing with you.