Published on 12, July, 2020
My husband is a non diagnosed autistic person and he masks this all week at work.
When he is at home he just wants to hide in his office, he never comes out with me and the children, he won't visit places we want to visit because "everyone else is there" and he gets incredibly stressed and grumpy when it off his comfort zone so we just tend to leave him at home, however I feel like a single parent and I miss having someone to have adventures with.
I often wonder "what is the point" we sleep in separate rooms and although he says he loves me and I love him, it just doesn't feel like a "Normal relationship"
Can anyone offer any advice???
I'll put a reply and I don't presume to judge or know your husband or you, I do have five questions though;
1. What is his job role? (loosely, not asking for location or anything personal like that, more so I can envision the social dynamics he'd be involved in)
2. What are his work week hours? (9 to 5 everyday or more)
3. What kind of activities is it that you and the kids are interested in?
4. Are you aware of him having any sound sensory issues? (chatter of background people etc.)
5. Is he willing to do these activities if he is allowed to take the "social" backseat or is he just straight not willing at all?
You don't have to answer these questions, it's just that any advice given could be too general because there isn't enough to take into account.
It could be counselling that's is needed, it could be a job change, it could be anything, hard to give some probable solutions without information.
Thank you Paul. He is a teacher, he works a 50 hour week so it is all consuming during term time. The children and I just like to go for walks or anything really, my son is diagnosed autistic and he hates noise so we don't do anything too busy. My husband will come out if pushed but it's always grumpy if he does so it's kind of easier if he doesn't but I am lonely and exhausted myself as I work a 35 hour week and try to keep everyone happy at home too. I sometimes feel as though I take care of everyone and I'd like someone to take care of me for a bit.