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Just diagnosed and feel like I'm falling apart

RosieRosie

Hello all,

Thank you for all your kindness on my previous post. Assessment was done yesterday (with parents' involvement) and confirmed that I am autistic.

I had that rush of relief initially as I really didn't think the psychiatrist would agree, but I'm now completely overwhelmed and broken by it all. It's not helping that, out the four people who know, three have already said "I'm surprised you were diagnosed" / "Ah but we all feel this way, you must have it very mildly." I just want to scream in frustration and anger at that.

I feel like thirty years of trauma and realisation is hitting me all at once and I don't know who to turn to or what to do.

I was expecting to feel a bit all over the place after the assessment, but I'm really surprised at how strong this feeling is and it's scaring me a bit.

Parents

  • Those people mean well but they are saying the wrong thing, as it invalidates the reality of your experience. The fact is, you were affected enough to seek a 'diagnosis', they were not. That's already a marked distinction.

    I had some of those comments, but I've also had 'I could have told you for nothing - it was plain as day' - so a lot is down to perceptiveness of the mask and its nuances. I hope you feel better soon. Imposter syndrome will flare up from time to time (usually when you're in a quiet space where the environment is more in alignment with you, and you feel 'fine'), but then you'll soon find yourself having a day where there is no room for doubt, and it's important to remember those moments especiallyu. Plus the fact that a professional has made an accurate and formal diagnosis. 

    Hope you feel better soon.

Reply

  • Those people mean well but they are saying the wrong thing, as it invalidates the reality of your experience. The fact is, you were affected enough to seek a 'diagnosis', they were not. That's already a marked distinction.

    I had some of those comments, but I've also had 'I could have told you for nothing - it was plain as day' - so a lot is down to perceptiveness of the mask and its nuances. I hope you feel better soon. Imposter syndrome will flare up from time to time (usually when you're in a quiet space where the environment is more in alignment with you, and you feel 'fine'), but then you'll soon find yourself having a day where there is no room for doubt, and it's important to remember those moments especiallyu. Plus the fact that a professional has made an accurate and formal diagnosis. 

    Hope you feel better soon.

Children
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