What's gender?

People who don't identify themselves as non-binary, transgender (and so on) would not be best pleased if others mistakenly or deliberately referred to them wrongly or impolitely. The 'norm' is so ingrained in society that they hardly think of correct usage and address as rights - they take it for granted; so why shouldn't other groups enjoy the same rights?

There's no credibility in railing against perceived 'demands' either - not when the demands of convention imprison us all, and often make sheer existence an unbearable trial...particularly for the people you're criticising.

Gender is a word. But there's more to it than simply male or female. Picture cancer, there's more to it than simply a disease, there are different types, just like there are different types of genders. Sorry for using cancer to explain this but I think it works in a way.

But a lot of people will disagree with some genders. It's a difficult topic that will usually result in arguments and disagreements both in the online world and real world.

I haven't read any of the replies, so I apologize in advance if I offend anyone

Pronouns are DANGEROUS

And I am not saying they are bad because it helps transgender people feel included. But what people don't understand, is that TRUE, REAL transgender people represent 0. 1% of the population. Will we reveal our private feelings about ourselves only for less than 5% of the population? 

Woke people claim they are forwarding diversity, but let me get this straight, your "friend" has asserted that you HAVE to use pronouns? Where in the world does that include how YOUR freedom to reveal YOUR private life? I don't know how you feel about yourself, but there is ABSOLUTELY NO OBLIGATION for you to use pronouns. NONE. And if people say you are being discriminatory then it just proves the point that they are guilt-tripping you to accept THEIR view through HARCEMENT and INSULTS.

So much for "diversity" right

True. Maybe part of my confusion comes from the fact that I avoid getting close to humans who treat or perceive men and women differently. Gender roles in my opinion is something human needed when physical strength was needed to defend self and get food. Nowadays most of us make their living in a comfy office chair. So generally, I don't understand why the gender roles still exist. I don't understand why people are socialised differently based on their gender. Maybe that's why I don't understand gender in itself. But thank you, it seems to me like I'm one step closer to understand it.

I apologize if I caused any discomfort with this question. 

This is massively oversimplified, but I often think that if sex is the type of body you have (male/female/intersex), gender identity is the kind of body you would ideally like to have. That "would like to" is perhaps too weak a phrase, as for many people it's an incredibly strong and persistent feeling, but it's the simplest way I can think of to express it.

Then there's also a societal factor involving gender roles and so on. Yes, that's a social construct, and might not exist in an ideal world, but it definitely does exist in the world we live in today.

For example, I identify as agender - my ideal body has neither set of sexual organs or characteristics (note, this isn't necessarily a universal definition of agender but is how I experience it) - but socially I'd prefer to be seen as male in the society in which I currently live. i.e. if my friends regard me as non binary but the bus driver /checkout worker etc see me as male, that's the ideal.

I've met a lot of AFAB (assigned female at birth) people who pass and live as male in non-queer contexts but identify as non binary, so I think this is a somewhat common experience. Before you say, "that's not common at all!" note that you may well have met people like this without knowing it, as if they don't disclose to you and you're not in a clothes-off situation, you wouldn't know.

Ree,

I perceive this as a tri-polar topic......people either start shouting or go and hide.

TRIBE 1 = Confused and/or apathetic about getting into discussions about it & quite fearful to do so.

TRIBE 2 = Passionately in favour of rights and wanting to talk of them and their importance.

TRIBE 3 = Passionately in favour of rights and wanting to talk of them and their importance.

This isn't a typo above.  Tribe 2 and tribe 3 are correctly identical - but diametrically opposed - and both equally splintered too.

I do find myself wholly distracted from the subject matter by the tension and tribal nature that has so rapidly developed around it.

I am startled by the "overwhelming passions" exhibited in relation to such an opaque and recently manifested topic area.

"Overwhelming passion" is great in a double bed, but often a catalyst for disaster on a tribal scale......and potentially a forum scale too!

I am currently very fearful for all the tribes.

These are my thoughts on this.

Number.

I feel exactly the same way, it’s like everyone else has this link between their mind and their body, and I just don’t. I remember having a conversation when I was 18 and people trying to explain it to me, and I just didn’t get it. It was only after diagnosis did I realise I had no concept of what gender actually was. It’s ultimately why I now identify as non-binary or agendered as I really don’t feel like I fit in with the whole gender thing. 
I don’t tend to make a big deal about it, I was born male, as of right now I continue to present as male so accept that’s what people will refer to me as, but if anyone cares to ask, I will say they/them. I have also seriously considered trying presenting as female just to try it, but it would require large changes to routine which is a pretty big challenge for me.

I have trouble with this to be honest. I can never tell if a debate is about biological sex or the 'appearance' of a social thing. I'm not really bothered what or how others address me - it doesn't change how I feel about myself. I can understand it like a Name, as I tend to find individuals who take great liberty with pet names off-putting.

And I'm aware when I was young I was confused why males seemed to be awarded more Power or Personal Agency because of their sex. So, I thought it was always more 'fun' to role play a male in theatre, but it would've never occurred to change me. Bad situation? Find the escape. 

I can understanding feeling uncertain about who I am as a human, but I learned we grow into our selves and this might even take a lifetime. This is what a sort of authenticity is about and the nature of dealing with life in ways that can help us mature. if I cannot learn to accept and care for my self, how can I do this with another. And I do feel this is one crucial element overshadowing discussions. If suicide and depression and insecurities are already heightened, I think it's time we teach personal acceptance first. 

But yes. I do feel a bit dizzy about it.