Published on 12, July, 2020
A discussion in this forum made me ask myself this question, what's gender?. I googled it but what I found there didn't make much sense to me. I always thought that the gender of the other person doesn't tell me much about who they are. It just informs me about the appropriate pronouns that this person wants me to use with them. Frankly I don't care about figuring out my gender. I was born in a woman's body and I never felt like it's the wrong one. I think I'd feel the same if I was born in a man's body. I have never spent time thinking about this part of myself because I never thought that it's important enough to me. I'll be the same person anyway, no? I don't think it would change much about who I am... Can anyone share how they understand gender?
When I was a young man there were two genders, male and female. If there were any others I never heard of them. Gender in those days was never a topic. It was never in question, you were one or the other. No in betweens. Of course you had some who would go drag but in those days it was mostly for entertainment purposes, something you would see in a play or something of the sort.
I do confess to finding it difficult to fathom gender and how it appears to have changed over time, specifically in the last few decades. In my mind there are only two genders. I don't understand how anyone can be more than male or female. In my life I was brought up with the knowledge of two genders and back in those days there certainly was no changing gender like you get today. I'm not saying people should be shamed, certainly not. But I do struggle with understanding this. I do believe people may need help with these gender feelings they seem to have.
My good lady and I were in discussions on this not so long ago. In my mind, if you decide you aren't a gender or are a gender other than male or female then perhaps you are needing some medical assistance from a skilled professional. What makes someone another gender? Feelings and thoughts I would assume, it can't be based on what you see as you will either see a male or female looking back at you. So it has to be based on how you feel. But here is my problem and my wife did at least agree here.
Where do we draw the line?
If I were to start saying I'm not a human I'm a God, based on feelings and thoughts I don't feel right as a human then I would be locked up. That would be insanity. No one could be a God. But these other genders, somehow they exist and are deemed normality these days. I cannot fathom this. I have tried, believe me I have but I can't get my head round this. How can you be more than one gender or not have a gender? In my mind these do not exist. How could they? You will still have a male or female body. So it is just your feelings, your mind telling you how you are different. Again, if a man or woman feels they are God or possess powers they will swiftly be detained under a Section of the Mental Health Act but if it is gender related it is accepted and understood by the majority.
I am still trying to understand this. I don't have a problem with it but I do struggle understanding how it is considered normal when back when I was young it would have been considered madness. If it was physical differences in your body then yes I could accept this but everything is based on what you feel and think these days and I don't think it's right.
My entire life and everything I was taught and brought up on has changed and continues to change. I find this difficult to grasp.
"everything is based on what you feel and think these days"
The more accomodation there is for this, the better surely? As long as it hurts no-one else, which no truly progressive evolution of societal accomodation will do.
Up to a point. What if my feelings and thoughts are at odds with yours? If everyone’s thoughts and feelings need to be respected… well some perspectives are mutually exclusive and can not ‘respect’ each other because they are fundamentally contradictory. So if everyone has to respect everyone else’s thoughts and feelings some thoughts and feels can not be allowed and you get into the territory of thought crimes and society trying to control what we think.
the important caveat to all of this being it’s possible to be respectful to a person with out respecting their opinions or feelings. The fact that we can’t all see eye to eye isn’t an excuse to treat others badly.