• Replies 75 replies
  • Subscribers 90 subscribers
  • Views 9160 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Shame and anxiety about special interest?

Daniel

Ok, I’m not going to talk about what my special interest is because it’s on the “spicy/saucy/naughty” side (nothing illegal I will add) and I’d rather not get banned from this space.

Because of its nature and societies general views on such things, I can end up feeling very anxious about it and get a sense of shame. It’s something I really love to read and learn about but at times it just feels like this impossible thing to do as I just have this sense that I shouldn’t be enjoying this sort of stuff. It’s really hard to talk to people about it and find other like minded people who are ok with you just info dumping about it.

Also because of my additional support needs it can be really hard to be involve and do things around it and that I want to do. It can just leave me with this sense of being unfulfilled and inferior to others. I struggle to self advocate and express what I want, and when I do I can come across as pushy or demanding or obsessive about something, I just can’t seem to get a balance.

I’m ranting a bit now, just wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and feelings around their special interests and being able to take part?

Parents

  • You're not alone with this - I often feel embarrassed about being into kpop at 31 years old (since it's generally seen as something only teenagers like), and the thing is I'd never judge another person for having "childish" or otherwise unusual interests and yet I still fear the judgement of others. My general advice is always: if it makes you happy and you're not hurting anyone, then there's nothing to be ashamed of!

    (Now I need to work on taking my own advice Sweat smile)

  • in reply to ConstantRepeat

    I'm a really old female and I love heavy metal music. The stereotypical fan is believed to be a 15 year old boy! There are people who think you "grow out of heavy metal" when you become an "adult". At work, my boss said he "used to like" Iron Maiden. He asked if they were still going. I told him they'd played for around 250,000 people in Rio, so yes, they're still going.  

    When I went to concerts years ago, I was in the minority of older folk but nobody cared. The kids loved hearing about concerts I went to and musicians I met.

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    Me too! I love my heavy metal and hard rock (36 years old) - luckily I know a lot of other women who love the music too and gigs and festivals now have a much older crowd and they're bringing their kids with them which is pretty cool. I'm hoping to go see Def Leppard and Motley Crue in Wembley in summer and hoping Ghost do a tour here again next year!

Reply
  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    Me too! I love my heavy metal and hard rock (36 years old) - luckily I know a lot of other women who love the music too and gigs and festivals now have a much older crowd and they're bringing their kids with them which is pretty cool. I'm hoping to go see Def Leppard and Motley Crue in Wembley in summer and hoping Ghost do a tour here again next year!

Children