• Replies 75 replies
  • Subscribers 90 subscribers
  • Views 9156 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Shame and anxiety about special interest?

Daniel

Ok, I’m not going to talk about what my special interest is because it’s on the “spicy/saucy/naughty” side (nothing illegal I will add) and I’d rather not get banned from this space.

Because of its nature and societies general views on such things, I can end up feeling very anxious about it and get a sense of shame. It’s something I really love to read and learn about but at times it just feels like this impossible thing to do as I just have this sense that I shouldn’t be enjoying this sort of stuff. It’s really hard to talk to people about it and find other like minded people who are ok with you just info dumping about it.

Also because of my additional support needs it can be really hard to be involve and do things around it and that I want to do. It can just leave me with this sense of being unfulfilled and inferior to others. I struggle to self advocate and express what I want, and when I do I can come across as pushy or demanding or obsessive about something, I just can’t seem to get a balance.

I’m ranting a bit now, just wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and feelings around their special interests and being able to take part?

Parents

  • You're not alone with this - I often feel embarrassed about being into kpop at 31 years old (since it's generally seen as something only teenagers like), and the thing is I'd never judge another person for having "childish" or otherwise unusual interests and yet I still fear the judgement of others. My general advice is always: if it makes you happy and you're not hurting anyone, then there's nothing to be ashamed of!

    (Now I need to work on taking my own advice Sweat smile)

  • in reply to ConstantRepeat

    I'm a really old female and I love heavy metal music. The stereotypical fan is believed to be a 15 year old boy! There are people who think you "grow out of heavy metal" when you become an "adult". At work, my boss said he "used to like" Iron Maiden. He asked if they were still going. I told him they'd played for around 250,000 people in Rio, so yes, they're still going.  

    When I went to concerts years ago, I was in the minority of older folk but nobody cared. The kids loved hearing about concerts I went to and musicians I met.

Reply
  • in reply to ConstantRepeat

    I'm a really old female and I love heavy metal music. The stereotypical fan is believed to be a 15 year old boy! There are people who think you "grow out of heavy metal" when you become an "adult". At work, my boss said he "used to like" Iron Maiden. He asked if they were still going. I told him they'd played for around 250,000 people in Rio, so yes, they're still going.  

    When I went to concerts years ago, I was in the minority of older folk but nobody cared. The kids loved hearing about concerts I went to and musicians I met.

Children
  • in reply to Aaron

    You're right about Ritchie Blackmore. Stargazer is one of my favourite songs. I listen to it all the time. Plus The Gates of Babylon. 

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    Yes Cozy was a fantastic drummer.  I love Highway Star the track and the solo. I love Stargazer, Lady of the Lake both have amazing solos.  I play some classical guitar but I can’t play like Ritchie Blackmore. His solos are language, feel, and art.  

  • in reply to Aaron

    Ritchie Blackmore is a favourite of mine too. His solo on "Highway Star" is my favourite. I only saw Rainbow at their end, with Doogie White on vocals.

    My favourite Rainbow record is "Rainbow Rising". I wish I saw the original line-up. Cozy Powell is one of my favourite drummers (my late dad was a jazz drummer who was impressed by a video of Cozy that I showed him).

    I almost saw Cozy in Black Sabbath but he wasn't well so Bobby Rondinelli replaced him. Then, sadly, Cozy passed away. I used to know his best friend who I met after Cozy passed away.

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    I agree.  I saw the last concert film of Sabbath and spent a weekend floating off on the riffs. Wow you met some of the band. Ritchie Blackmore has always been one of my favourite guitarists. His playing is skill and art. I saw Rainbow twice in the 80s.

  • in reply to Aaron

    Wow, seeing Black Sabbath then must have been unbelievable. Such an influential band. I saw them during the Tony Martin years and as Heaven and Hell with my favourite singer Ronnie James Dio. I met them both too. I also got to meet Tony Iommi - at an ELO concert in London.

    People underestimate the skill and talent needed for classic heavy metal. It isn't just "noise" and "screaming" vocals, as the stereotype appears to be. I remember being amazed at the range Bruce Dickinson has - he can really hold a note a long time! In terms of musicality, Ritchie Blackmore always threw in a bit of classical music into his playing and solos. I'm a big Deep Purple and Rainbow fan.

    I could go on and on but I went on a long time already!

  • in reply to RockChick

    There's no other band like Rammstein live. There videos are amazing too. I found a YouTube channel where the guy translates their lyrics into English. Some very dark stuff! I've only read about Ghost. I'll check them out on YouTube.

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    The first band I saw was Black Sabbath in 1971. The ticket was 80 pence. Many people looked down on it and some said oh it won’t last. Heavy metal has gone world wide into all kinds of cultures. I love classical music but still listen to rock. I thought lots of older people were still into it. They were like a local band. Also Robert Plant was local and used to attend the local clubs. As well one of the founders of Metallica visited the locality before he created the band. It’s amazing and defies all the prejudices. Also there are many female rock and metal artists now.  I love Jinjer a Ukrainian band.

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    Oh Rammstein are epic. I saw them at Milton Keynes but didn't get home til 4am - totally worth it! My current fave band is Ghost :)

  • in reply to RockChick

    Yay! You're right about the older crowd and their children. I saw that a lot with Iron Maiden. I love soooo many bands but my current favourite is Rammstein. I saw them twice, amazing!

  • in reply to Kitty Pes

    Me too! I love my heavy metal and hard rock (36 years old) - luckily I know a lot of other women who love the music too and gigs and festivals now have a much older crowd and they're bringing their kids with them which is pretty cool. I'm hoping to go see Def Leppard and Motley Crue in Wembley in summer and hoping Ghost do a tour here again next year!