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Does anyone have a practical guide for communicating via text

Rol

Hello i'm 36 ( late diagnosed last year ) and I have not made a new friend in 16 years.

I am good at masking and meeting people in person, But I struggle a lot with texting. I asked the people who disconnect with me why they did and I get a couple answers

  1. I text too often
  2. Its "Difficult to talk with me"
  3. I just don't feel a connection

I would like to figure out how to communicate via text, does anyone know of any guides for communicating via text as an autistic adult.

I'm tech savvy and have found AI to be helpful but that gives its own problems with authenticity and whatnot.

I found speech to text can help me formulate a sentence but then i get comments about my communication style being weird.

What I would like help figuring out is:

  • how often to text
  • How do i know the emotional meaning in a text
  • how can i come up with a reply if I im not answering a question or providing information.
  • examples of conversation starters?
  • how can i bring up a concern without offending the person

All of the answers I have gotten is "You just have to feel when to do things or what to say" which is really unhelpful. I really wish there was a flow chart for this kind of stuff.

Also, unrelated kind of, whenever i bring this up with my neurotypical friends that my struggle is because im neurodivergent they say that is negative self talk and that it's just because all the people i've met are just incompatible. Is this true? I feel like I'm supposed to try to make some accommodations in my communication with neurotypical friends, or like communicate with them my struggles.

Thank you for your help in advance...

Parents

  • I’ve no guide as such to offer but share your problems with text communications. I struggle to understand the meaning of messages received so very often and generally don’t get the sub plot. It has caused huge problems and was the medium of communication which led to my suicide attempt late last year. My own approach has so often been to shut down and withdraw from communicating electronically but this brings a different set of problems.  The most effective electronic comms I have are with people who have a very real physical presence in my life, people I see day to day and talk to f2f. My only social media is Facebook and here I have a personal rule to only have friends who I actually know in real life and have a real relationship with, this works well for me as when there are comms breakdowns online on text/chat etc we can actually sort it out f2f. 

  • in reply to Alice-nice-Alice

    You bring up a good idea of making plans in person rather than attempting to text. Maybe I should make more of an effort to reaffirm in person our friendship rather than try to maintain it via text message. Thank you for your input.

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  • in reply to Alice-nice-Alice

    You bring up a good idea of making plans in person rather than attempting to text. Maybe I should make more of an effort to reaffirm in person our friendship rather than try to maintain it via text message. Thank you for your input.

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