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Too late?

Spideynose

Hello

At the age of 50 I’m trying to get up the courage to ask my GP to refer me for autism diagnoses. 
I feel very scared.  After a lifetime of struggle I’m almost wondering if it’s worth the fear of more stress and possibly not being able to access support. Im pretty sure the doctor will believe me.  I score very highly on the various online tests and I’ve got a medical record of problems that puzzled the doctors and were not resolved by interventions such as SSRIs or sending me to dieticians or doing MRI of my brain.  But I’m stressed out because I feel like it’s a race against the clock as well as horrendously hard to access NHS care now with the added pressure to have to self advocate (I’m a very single mum) and I am extremely competition/stress avoidant.  Im thinking about it now because I’d like to do a masters but I know won’t survive it unless my situation or needs are formally recognised.  My last qualification nearly killed me to try to get dissertation done and I had a year long extension and still struggled hellishly. 
Im worried that it’s too late and I feel so alone and in pain.  It would help to know if anyone else has the same situation and if anyone has any encouraging suggestions. 
thanks 

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  • Just out of curiosity, what does the competition here infer?

    Spideynose said:
    I am extremely competition/stress avoidant.

    Using the right language can be important. Avoid implies escape, Competition implies an investment into winning against others. But it's not a matter of Personal Agency, which might be the right term if I'm reading this correct?

    Many of us have had to try to remove our selves from the clutches of controlling others. We might have a lifetime of this. Apparently, it's also relatively typical for a NT Sociopath male to find the Autistic Female mysterious and alluring, and an easy target only to get a very strong surprise. If you're like me, you might have dated a few or accidentally married one momentarily. Add to this, the social assumption I "attract" this kind of mate (as if Darwin wasn't trying to state animals don't reproduce with a different animal), and it compounds the frustration.

    I still need to get a degree! I'm near the same age as you, also single mum. But have ended up in a specialised field by default. I've been in the process of chatting with a university about this and potentially, with the lived experience might even be able to get my doctorate. It might take years, but it's never too late to live life in a way that brings you joy. :)

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    I mean if there seems to be limited resources I usually don’t feel I can pursue something. E g I might be hungry but if someone else is eyeing up the last sandwich I’ll let them take it.  Or if when I call the doctor and they say something like “please consider whether your request is urgent” I won’t want to bother them.  

    yes. Re: relationships.  I mean me too in the true sense. 

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  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    I mean if there seems to be limited resources I usually don’t feel I can pursue something. E g I might be hungry but if someone else is eyeing up the last sandwich I’ll let them take it.  Or if when I call the doctor and they say something like “please consider whether your request is urgent” I won’t want to bother them.  

    yes. Re: relationships.  I mean me too in the true sense. 

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