• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 84 subscribers
  • Views 1134 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I feel fake all the time and I can't switch it off

Abigail

I feel like I am pretending with everything about me, even when I'm on my own. It's like I am constantly in my own head analysing everything that I am doing to seem "normal". It even happens when I am on my own, I will stop myself from doing something that is considered "weird". I think this is masking but I really don't know because I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as I don't have my official diagnosis yet (haven't even had my first meeting or anything. Very annoying and am anxious about that because I want and feel like I need that support and validation). What do I do? I am exhausted all the time because I am constantly thinking about everything I say and do. I have stopped myself from stimming a lot and it is constantly pent up. I feel like I am going to explode (not literally) all the time but I can't seem to let myself go when I am on my own in my room. I don't really know what to do at this point. How do I bring this up with my doctor? Should I get a therapist? What is the best way to do that and will they understand? I've never talked about this before and it's the first time I feel I have noticed and acknowledged it and I want to let it all out but I think I have been doing this for so long that I can't and don't know how.

Parents

  • I know what you mean. I've felt like i was performing in social situations for most of my life rather than just acting naturally and being myself. I've learnt to mask from a young age basically to cope in a non-autistic world. I also do the monitoring thing where i'm constantly analysing how well or (usually) badly i'm doing in social situations. The book 'Taking Off The Mask' by Hannah Louise Belcher really helped me. I think i've used just about every masking technique there is over the years

    Be kind to yourself and take things slowly is my best advice. I was seeing my parents daily around the time of my autism realization but now only see them once a week because i found it so exhausting being around them and it was making me ill quite frankly. 

    So limiting social interaction early on was beneficial for me and continues to be. Might be something to keep in mind 

Reply

  • I know what you mean. I've felt like i was performing in social situations for most of my life rather than just acting naturally and being myself. I've learnt to mask from a young age basically to cope in a non-autistic world. I also do the monitoring thing where i'm constantly analysing how well or (usually) badly i'm doing in social situations. The book 'Taking Off The Mask' by Hannah Louise Belcher really helped me. I think i've used just about every masking technique there is over the years

    Be kind to yourself and take things slowly is my best advice. I was seeing my parents daily around the time of my autism realization but now only see them once a week because i found it so exhausting being around them and it was making me ill quite frankly. 

    So limiting social interaction early on was beneficial for me and continues to be. Might be something to keep in mind 

Children
No Data