Unconditional Love

I had never believed that this existed until very recently. As a child I had to earn love by “good behaviour” and doing well at school. In my marriage it was clear that “love” was again earnt but this time for sex. Friends were little better as always there were value systems imposed on me and limits to what they would give. 

My involvement with Christianity was always defective and ultimately abusive (them on me) with the entire premis of their belief system based on judgement. They threw about the mantra “god is love” but it is a complete lie as god only loves you if you agree with his rules, if you don’t off to hell you jolly well go!  Needless to say I have no connection with religion at all now  

Id given up on ever finding real love, unconditional love, but to my surprise and delight I have, she is my partner Hazel …

We met while volunteering at Cats Protection, gradually grew closer and have now been in a complete relationship for over six months. Her love, unlike everyone else I’ve ever known, truly is unconditional. She never judges me, she never makes me earn love, she can hold an alternative perspective or opinion without imposing it on me and her reactions to my autism are perfect. I get fairly frequent meltdowns and often when we are out and about, her response is always supportive and kind and understanding. She’s not an autistic herself but somehow knows intuitively what to do for the best with me. 

Thank you Hazel, I adore you with my every atom xxx

Emma

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  • Although it would be very easy for me to fall into the role of "opening batsman for the other team" what real human can resist the joy in that posting?

    And what practicing Christian, myself included has ever read anything Jesus said against homosexuality? Fornication, which I do every so often as a result of my lifestyle, IS the deviation from the ideal path, (however it is done) that is the real soul corrupter. NO-ONE, least of all myself, meets up to those simple two instructions that Jesus ACTUALLY gave, and most of "Christianity" seems to reference the other books where Jesus does not take a leading role, and hence comes through a human interpreter, which is where all the trouble (and almost everyone's confusion about the actual words and deeds of Christ) starts.

    As a Christian, all the "improving" I should be accomplishing should be personal to me, and Jesus. Yes, I do have an obligation to give you the good news, AKA lead you to Jesus and the state of grace that even I get to feel on my better days. 

    I really am a sterling example of a hypocrite at first glance, but I try very hard to imitate his life. The only people I remember Jesus condemning were the people who sit in judgment of others, and the people who create systems of money and profit from their existence, and thus elevate themselves above others, rather than by honest merit. Let he who sin without sin cast the first stone etc...

    Please don't judge the faith without performing your own independent investigation into at least one gospel, just as you did not like those who profess the faith "judging" you, (if indeed that was what they were doing) "evaluating" looks an awful lot like judging if the subject of evaluation has preconceptions and misconceptions about you.

    And please, whatever role in life I might appear to play in some peoples eyes, keep talking to me about cats and how CP works. And "cat wrangling". I managed to annoy my cat the other day, he showed me in his posture, nothing like the lengths some poor cats have to go to register displeasure, and I think I'm repeatedly doing something he doesn't really like, (apart from the stints of typing and mousing activity) but there's something...

    I can't service every request, every time (As with humans the more you do, the more they want) but I try to put my own needs aside to an extent some openly call excessive, so I guess I do enough... Blackjack was the pioneer of the "seven services" I'll catalog how many things these can ask for soon, when they've stopped teaching me new ones. I'm typing the end of this one handed whilst the other hand holds the wireless keyboard over the gently burbling great big Ginger MaineCoon looking shorthair on my lap.

    I can't help but love anyone who works for the organisation that hooked us up with these beauties...

    I think the closest I got to doing "unconditional love" properly was with Maqi. He took three years to stop disliking me enough to start be careful not to injure my poor hands... He really had no time for me at all, but I decided, I loved him any way for what he was (a small cat alone in the world who we "rescued by purchase" deliberately when CP would't give us a cat after BJ crossed the rainbow bridge) and how happy he made my GF. (SHE was for love, I was for violence...) From the three year point I became acceptable, even worthy of a face rub or a very occasional bit of edgy "laptime" but my performance was always being measured, and some days I clearly required a sharp look or two, if not some hardcore disdain... Sadly the day before he gave me some of what this lovely boy gives me so abundantly was the day before I was to slide his awfully cold self out from under the sofa from whence he was pitifully calling, and get to learn what a saddle thrombosis is... Worse, was to watch my G/F go through exactly what I had to with B.J. but all of a sudden. I have to watch her catch herself every so often realising and trying to forget that these cats aren't her beloved cat, she will never love them the same (but at least I know that the new and different flavour love is growing in her for these little (huge really) guys...

    Too much? I hope I haven't upset anyone this time by "being me"...

Reply
  • Although it would be very easy for me to fall into the role of "opening batsman for the other team" what real human can resist the joy in that posting?

    And what practicing Christian, myself included has ever read anything Jesus said against homosexuality? Fornication, which I do every so often as a result of my lifestyle, IS the deviation from the ideal path, (however it is done) that is the real soul corrupter. NO-ONE, least of all myself, meets up to those simple two instructions that Jesus ACTUALLY gave, and most of "Christianity" seems to reference the other books where Jesus does not take a leading role, and hence comes through a human interpreter, which is where all the trouble (and almost everyone's confusion about the actual words and deeds of Christ) starts.

    As a Christian, all the "improving" I should be accomplishing should be personal to me, and Jesus. Yes, I do have an obligation to give you the good news, AKA lead you to Jesus and the state of grace that even I get to feel on my better days. 

    I really am a sterling example of a hypocrite at first glance, but I try very hard to imitate his life. The only people I remember Jesus condemning were the people who sit in judgment of others, and the people who create systems of money and profit from their existence, and thus elevate themselves above others, rather than by honest merit. Let he who sin without sin cast the first stone etc...

    Please don't judge the faith without performing your own independent investigation into at least one gospel, just as you did not like those who profess the faith "judging" you, (if indeed that was what they were doing) "evaluating" looks an awful lot like judging if the subject of evaluation has preconceptions and misconceptions about you.

    And please, whatever role in life I might appear to play in some peoples eyes, keep talking to me about cats and how CP works. And "cat wrangling". I managed to annoy my cat the other day, he showed me in his posture, nothing like the lengths some poor cats have to go to register displeasure, and I think I'm repeatedly doing something he doesn't really like, (apart from the stints of typing and mousing activity) but there's something...

    I can't service every request, every time (As with humans the more you do, the more they want) but I try to put my own needs aside to an extent some openly call excessive, so I guess I do enough... Blackjack was the pioneer of the "seven services" I'll catalog how many things these can ask for soon, when they've stopped teaching me new ones. I'm typing the end of this one handed whilst the other hand holds the wireless keyboard over the gently burbling great big Ginger MaineCoon looking shorthair on my lap.

    I can't help but love anyone who works for the organisation that hooked us up with these beauties...

    I think the closest I got to doing "unconditional love" properly was with Maqi. He took three years to stop disliking me enough to start be careful not to injure my poor hands... He really had no time for me at all, but I decided, I loved him any way for what he was (a small cat alone in the world who we "rescued by purchase" deliberately when CP would't give us a cat after BJ crossed the rainbow bridge) and how happy he made my GF. (SHE was for love, I was for violence...) From the three year point I became acceptable, even worthy of a face rub or a very occasional bit of edgy "laptime" but my performance was always being measured, and some days I clearly required a sharp look or two, if not some hardcore disdain... Sadly the day before he gave me some of what this lovely boy gives me so abundantly was the day before I was to slide his awfully cold self out from under the sofa from whence he was pitifully calling, and get to learn what a saddle thrombosis is... Worse, was to watch my G/F go through exactly what I had to with B.J. but all of a sudden. I have to watch her catch herself every so often realising and trying to forget that these cats aren't her beloved cat, she will never love them the same (but at least I know that the new and different flavour love is growing in her for these little (huge really) guys...

    Too much? I hope I haven't upset anyone this time by "being me"...

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