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Huge anxiety around parent-involvement in upcoming assessment

RosieRosie

Hello all,

As above, really. Anyone here been through the assessment process as an adult with their parents involved? What did that process look like for you?

I am being assessed soon as a nearly 30 y/o and was told that my parents will have to be a part of the process, which I'm really stressed and worried about. 

My life with my family has been one of them minimising almost every emotion or reaction I've had, so I'm not convinced that they are going to be of much help. They have always wanted me to ascribe to some level of normal so I don't know whether they are going to go into the assessment and pretend I was absolutely fine to 'save face' or (and I personally hope for this reaction) have a kind of cathartic chance to say "Yes, she did that and it was embarrassing and we didn't know what to do". 

The other element of this is whether the three of us will have to be in the same room for the whole process? Surely not?! I know for certain I will not give truthful answers or responses to whatever the assessment involves if they are in the room. All I was told is that we all need to attend in person at the same time and my brain can't handle that level of vagueness!

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • Hi it feels strange that this post has cropped up. Just as I have been asked to have a parent accompany me and it makes me feel uncomfortable and I won’t go into all the details but I don’t want it. I have had the first part of an assessment. Then I was told that without an informer I might only be described as having autistic traits but not a full diagnosis. I have been led to believe it is necessary.  My parent is not a bad person but they did not pay much attention to what was happening to me as a child. As such I have had to explain stuff now but surely it should be what they have noticed. I was referred to Child Guidance as a child but received skepticism and mocking from relatives.  I want to explain to my assessor that my patent did not notice my hyperlexia, attention problems, special interests as a child in many subjects but came top of the class at six but went backward later to near bottom but was obsessed with learning on my own. Extreme bullying but thought no point in asking for help. Lots of stuff so I wonder if the assessors enquiry will be relevant if I am not known.  My parent does not know me.  

    Either way RosieRosie I hope it all goes well for you and it works out. Maybe as some people are saying here that it is not needed. If it is too uncomfortable for you maybe it is fine to go ahead without a parent. 

Reply

  • Hi it feels strange that this post has cropped up. Just as I have been asked to have a parent accompany me and it makes me feel uncomfortable and I won’t go into all the details but I don’t want it. I have had the first part of an assessment. Then I was told that without an informer I might only be described as having autistic traits but not a full diagnosis. I have been led to believe it is necessary.  My parent is not a bad person but they did not pay much attention to what was happening to me as a child. As such I have had to explain stuff now but surely it should be what they have noticed. I was referred to Child Guidance as a child but received skepticism and mocking from relatives.  I want to explain to my assessor that my patent did not notice my hyperlexia, attention problems, special interests as a child in many subjects but came top of the class at six but went backward later to near bottom but was obsessed with learning on my own. Extreme bullying but thought no point in asking for help. Lots of stuff so I wonder if the assessors enquiry will be relevant if I am not known.  My parent does not know me.  

    Either way RosieRosie I hope it all goes well for you and it works out. Maybe as some people are saying here that it is not needed. If it is too uncomfortable for you maybe it is fine to go ahead without a parent. 

Children
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