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Huge anxiety around parent-involvement in upcoming assessment

RosieRosie

Hello all,

As above, really. Anyone here been through the assessment process as an adult with their parents involved? What did that process look like for you?

I am being assessed soon as a nearly 30 y/o and was told that my parents will have to be a part of the process, which I'm really stressed and worried about. 

My life with my family has been one of them minimising almost every emotion or reaction I've had, so I'm not convinced that they are going to be of much help. They have always wanted me to ascribe to some level of normal so I don't know whether they are going to go into the assessment and pretend I was absolutely fine to 'save face' or (and I personally hope for this reaction) have a kind of cathartic chance to say "Yes, she did that and it was embarrassing and we didn't know what to do". 

The other element of this is whether the three of us will have to be in the same room for the whole process? Surely not?! I know for certain I will not give truthful answers or responses to whatever the assessment involves if they are in the room. All I was told is that we all need to attend in person at the same time and my brain can't handle that level of vagueness!

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • I had my mum fill put the first questionnaire but I had to write a covering letter explaining that she had no idea about my struggles and she didn't even know that I was bullied!  She had no memory of several things that I remember clearly.

    I got my older sibling to fill out the second questionnaire when my case got transferred, and they put in a lot more relevant information. 

    I would definitely enquire if there are other options if your parents don't have a good understanding of your experience.  Some of it is about early development, like when you learned to talk etc, how you played.  But an inaccurate picture is not going to help you either.

Reply

  • I had my mum fill put the first questionnaire but I had to write a covering letter explaining that she had no idea about my struggles and she didn't even know that I was bullied!  She had no memory of several things that I remember clearly.

    I got my older sibling to fill out the second questionnaire when my case got transferred, and they put in a lot more relevant information. 

    I would definitely enquire if there are other options if your parents don't have a good understanding of your experience.  Some of it is about early development, like when you learned to talk etc, how you played.  But an inaccurate picture is not going to help you either.

Children
  • in reply to Glitter

    Argh, that's exactly the same as my parents – totally oblivious to the bullying. My mum is the same, almost everything I can recall she will reply with: 'I don't remember you being like that' / 'Everyone feels that way to some extent'. 

    I'll maybe write something to the team (not good on the phone) and at least that'll be on record?