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Can't See The Forest For The Trees (Bottom-Up Thinking)

Pikl

So I've been diving back into researching (one of my special interests) and have gone back to the topic of autism. No real surprise that might be a topic of interest. 

This time I'm exploring specifics, rather than generalised adult related information. 

I've been looking for explanations and information regarding why my head is so noisy, and why I think the way that I do. My recent information gathering informed the title of this thread.

I was wondering who else has thrown themselves into research to help explain their experiences. Has it helped? And have you found gems of information that made greater sense of things for you?

Grinning

Parents

  • When I was trying to get diagnosed, I read quite a few first-person accounts to compare with my own experiences, to try to convince myself, and the psychiatrist, that I was on the spectrum. I didn't really read anything scientific though and still have not. To be honest, it scares me a little, as my limited exposure is that those papers relate experiences that I so different to my own that I fall down the "I'm not really autistic, I'm just rubbish at life" rabbit hole. Difficulty comparing myself with others (autistic and allistic) doesn't help. I suppose I intuitively think my head is "noisy" (to use your example), but then I think that I have no way of knowing what's going on in other people's heads (autistic or allistic) for comparison, so what is the basis for that assertion?

  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    Luftmentsch - I hear you.

    If you only venture a few feet down the rabbit holes, it is scary and confusing.  I do have more than enough "trite" behaviours and traits to "pretend" to be autistic if I wanted to.  The trouble is, I also have more than enough "trite" behaviours and traits to "pretend" to be a frigging psycho too !......or BPD......or multiple personality disorder....or paranoid schizo.....or bi-polar etc etc etc.

    Moreover, it could be a brain injury - either impact or infection based.

    Luftmentsch said:
    so what is the basis for that assertion?

    ......the only way I could answer this question, was to do a REALLY, REALLY deep dive on pretty much everything, all at the same time.  It consumed my life and gobbled financial and time resources that I did not have to spare......but I could not go on without knowing my truth.

    .....and when I did see the truth about me - there was NO DOUBT - it was a lightening bolt of realisation.  It was deeply and profoundly emotional.  I still have minor wobbles here and there, but in essence, the MORE I have looked, the MORE reassurance I have found.

    Don't be scared Luftmentsch = my advice.  Look hard, and look deep.

    Best regards

    Number.

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  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    Luftmentsch - I hear you.

    If you only venture a few feet down the rabbit holes, it is scary and confusing.  I do have more than enough "trite" behaviours and traits to "pretend" to be autistic if I wanted to.  The trouble is, I also have more than enough "trite" behaviours and traits to "pretend" to be a frigging psycho too !......or BPD......or multiple personality disorder....or paranoid schizo.....or bi-polar etc etc etc.

    Moreover, it could be a brain injury - either impact or infection based.

    Luftmentsch said:
    so what is the basis for that assertion?

    ......the only way I could answer this question, was to do a REALLY, REALLY deep dive on pretty much everything, all at the same time.  It consumed my life and gobbled financial and time resources that I did not have to spare......but I could not go on without knowing my truth.

    .....and when I did see the truth about me - there was NO DOUBT - it was a lightening bolt of realisation.  It was deeply and profoundly emotional.  I still have minor wobbles here and there, but in essence, the MORE I have looked, the MORE reassurance I have found.

    Don't be scared Luftmentsch = my advice.  Look hard, and look deep.

    Best regards

    Number.

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