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Mute

JT

Been assessing where my selective mutism begins and ends. I've come to the conclusion that it's a self defense mechanism that protects either my point of view or my energy levels, and comes most often when I haven't had any space to myself for some time. So I shutdown and prioritise my internal thought processes over my external communications.

Was wondering where yours appears?

Parents

  • Some folks prefer to think of this as "situational" mutism as the situation for them provokes it, rather than this being a choice or 'selection' of any kind.  

    I think there can be many reasons.  I often get what I call a 'gulping gold fish' moment.  Where I know I'm supposed to say something but the thought won't quite connect to the mouth, or there is no thought about the topic; mouth opens, nothing comes out, closes again. 

    Small talk can do that.  Visiting a friend in the states, I found that Americans seemed to have a cultural compulsion to complement some aspect of my clothing, I suppose, as we talk about the weather.  "Hey great pants" would cause such a moment.  What do I say to that - yep, I put trousers on this morning??? I have no script to deal with that.

    the other thing that causes it is if I am mid way through explaining one thing and someone asks an off topic question which takes me by surprise - I can't disengage the brain from one attention tunnel to process the question, never mind answer it.  That's a task switching issue, I guess.

    Otherwise, shut down and meltdown can make it impossible to talk or receive information at all.  I also went mute after they took my teeth.  Everything was communicated through writing.  That was because of the sensory disturbance to my mouth.  I just could not open my mouth and move my tongue without being freaked out by it.

    Other people point to moments of social anxiety.  They want to say something, but nothing will come.

  • in reply to Dawn

    LOL - American females comment on clothes, along with gay men. I think the scripted response is supposed to be where and how much, but then I'm never quite sure I've worked all the nuances out.

    There's something about that country being founded on the individual and their sales pitch that's completely horrifying. It's drilled into the young: Sell, sell, sell! Ugh. Sadly, my mother would get angry if we didn't respond immediately and angry if we were confused. There was no winning, just finding ways to escape. 

    I spent years using words incorrectly. Stumbling through words feeling forced to speak. At this point, after enough trauma, I've managed to learn to at least say something that involves having trouble accessing words. But the head goes completely blank - nothing gets in and no one is getting out!

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  • in reply to Dawn

    LOL - American females comment on clothes, along with gay men. I think the scripted response is supposed to be where and how much, but then I'm never quite sure I've worked all the nuances out.

    There's something about that country being founded on the individual and their sales pitch that's completely horrifying. It's drilled into the young: Sell, sell, sell! Ugh. Sadly, my mother would get angry if we didn't respond immediately and angry if we were confused. There was no winning, just finding ways to escape. 

    I spent years using words incorrectly. Stumbling through words feeling forced to speak. At this point, after enough trauma, I've managed to learn to at least say something that involves having trouble accessing words. But the head goes completely blank - nothing gets in and no one is getting out!

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