Lost please help

After years of mental health issues I've recently come to realise I'm probably autistic. Reading a few books it's like coming face to face with my life story and the tests I've done say the same thing.

I'm not doing too well at the moment and I've got nobody to turn to. Could really do with some advice please?

How do I know if this is me being crazy or I'm actually on the spectrum? I know that formal diagnosis would be really hard to get but I'm worried I'm not doing the right things to manage myself. What did anyone else do?

I'm really struggling right now - keep getting overwhelmed (can't speak or think), emotions all over the place, poor sleep, more sensitive to sound and light, can only manage the basics day to day, avoiding people, suicidal. It doesn't feel like I'm depressed though. I try to keep my exercise and coping stuff going but I'm not getting better. Any tips?

I've read about burnout and how masking makes it more likely, but although I'm conscious I'm a pretend version of me in public, I've been doing it so long I wouldn't have a clue what the real me was. I'm hoping it's not the one that sits at home alone crying. Where do I even start?

Parents
  • Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment.

    A formal diagnosis can be helpful at any age. If you do decide to seek a referral go armed with the results of the online tests and details of why you believe you're autistic. Waiting lists are long unfortunately. You can decide to self identify as autistic if your prefer.

    There are some useful resources here for starting your autistic discovery journey.

    https://aucademy.co.uk/starting-your-autistic-discovery-journey/

    Your current state does sound like autistic burnout. All of those things I have experienced myself. Here are some further resources I have bookmarked:

    https://theautisticadvocate.com/2018/05/an-autistic-burnout/

    https://stimpunks.org/burnout/

    In essence rest and reducing sensory input can help. Also routines and ensuring you make time to focus on what interests you. Life is challenging and there are no easy answers unfortunately. Sometimes I think I have reached a stage of permanent burnout but there are glimmers of hope and reasons to keep going.

    The real you is the one you were as a young child, Before you were invalidated and marginalised for being different. That person is still there. However it is certainly not simple to discard our masks. As you rightly point out they've been in place so long that they have become largely automatic and not consciously used. 

    https://theautisticadvocate.com/autistic-masking/

Reply
  • Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment.

    A formal diagnosis can be helpful at any age. If you do decide to seek a referral go armed with the results of the online tests and details of why you believe you're autistic. Waiting lists are long unfortunately. You can decide to self identify as autistic if your prefer.

    There are some useful resources here for starting your autistic discovery journey.

    https://aucademy.co.uk/starting-your-autistic-discovery-journey/

    Your current state does sound like autistic burnout. All of those things I have experienced myself. Here are some further resources I have bookmarked:

    https://theautisticadvocate.com/2018/05/an-autistic-burnout/

    https://stimpunks.org/burnout/

    In essence rest and reducing sensory input can help. Also routines and ensuring you make time to focus on what interests you. Life is challenging and there are no easy answers unfortunately. Sometimes I think I have reached a stage of permanent burnout but there are glimmers of hope and reasons to keep going.

    The real you is the one you were as a young child, Before you were invalidated and marginalised for being different. That person is still there. However it is certainly not simple to discard our masks. As you rightly point out they've been in place so long that they have become largely automatic and not consciously used. 

    https://theautisticadvocate.com/autistic-masking/

Children