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Lost please help

Seejai

After years of mental health issues I've recently come to realise I'm probably autistic. Reading a few books it's like coming face to face with my life story and the tests I've done say the same thing.

I'm not doing too well at the moment and I've got nobody to turn to. Could really do with some advice please?

How do I know if this is me being crazy or I'm actually on the spectrum? I know that formal diagnosis would be really hard to get but I'm worried I'm not doing the right things to manage myself. What did anyone else do?

I'm really struggling right now - keep getting overwhelmed (can't speak or think), emotions all over the place, poor sleep, more sensitive to sound and light, can only manage the basics day to day, avoiding people, suicidal. It doesn't feel like I'm depressed though. I try to keep my exercise and coping stuff going but I'm not getting better. Any tips?

I've read about burnout and how masking makes it more likely, but although I'm conscious I'm a pretend version of me in public, I've been doing it so long I wouldn't have a clue what the real me was. I'm hoping it's not the one that sits at home alone crying. Where do I even start?

Parents

  • I’m in a somewhat similar situation I think. I’ve struggled with my mental health for most of my life and am constantly anxious and overwhelmed at the moment. I’ve had some very dark times but I also don’t really feel depressed. My suicidal moments have been more due to sheer exhaustion and a feeling that I will never be able to leave anxiety behind me.

    it’s this that has made my mind up about asking for an assessment. I’ve been going back and forth for years and still have doubts although also lots of things point towards ASC.

    I understand about putting on a show for the world and I still feel like everyone else must be doing this too, but maybe not, I don’t know. 

    i’m not sure I have any advice I can give but I just wanted to say that this sounds familiar and I understand some of what you are having to deal with.

    You’ve inspired me to start to think about who the ‘real me’ might be as well, that is when I’ve felt most at peace and free. For what its worth, I don’t think the real you is alone and crying at home. 

Reply

  • I’m in a somewhat similar situation I think. I’ve struggled with my mental health for most of my life and am constantly anxious and overwhelmed at the moment. I’ve had some very dark times but I also don’t really feel depressed. My suicidal moments have been more due to sheer exhaustion and a feeling that I will never be able to leave anxiety behind me.

    it’s this that has made my mind up about asking for an assessment. I’ve been going back and forth for years and still have doubts although also lots of things point towards ASC.

    I understand about putting on a show for the world and I still feel like everyone else must be doing this too, but maybe not, I don’t know. 

    i’m not sure I have any advice I can give but I just wanted to say that this sounds familiar and I understand some of what you are having to deal with.

    You’ve inspired me to start to think about who the ‘real me’ might be as well, that is when I’ve felt most at peace and free. For what its worth, I don’t think the real you is alone and crying at home. 

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