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Do you think it's ok to ask my parents if i can call them by their names instead of mum and dad?

Jamie

I've been thinking about doing this for sometime as since my mother has retired i think she has been using me to give herself a sense of purpose (cooking meals i didn't ask for, wanting to meet every day when i don't want to for example).For some reason i feel really uncomfortable calling her mum as i feel like i'm reinforcing her role as a mother when i've never felt particularly close to her. Has anyone made this change who could give advice on how to go about it? 

Parents

  • It’s a hard one, my mother is 76, I was never a child to be hugged or actually touched, I still find it a sensory overload. I most probably sound horrible, I have never felt any connection to my parents, I always said as a child that my real parents will come and get me one day. I was called a snob, I tried to explain that, “you’re not like me.”  Your mother is most probably lonely, I would say limit the interaction and do it by your rules, it can become too much.  I don’t actually call my mother anything, I just say, hello, goodbye and so on. We don’t really ever use names. When I have interaction, my wife is normally with me and steers the conversation.

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  • It’s a hard one, my mother is 76, I was never a child to be hugged or actually touched, I still find it a sensory overload. I most probably sound horrible, I have never felt any connection to my parents, I always said as a child that my real parents will come and get me one day. I was called a snob, I tried to explain that, “you’re not like me.”  Your mother is most probably lonely, I would say limit the interaction and do it by your rules, it can become too much.  I don’t actually call my mother anything, I just say, hello, goodbye and so on. We don’t really ever use names. When I have interaction, my wife is normally with me and steers the conversation.

Children
  • in reply to Roy
    Roy said:
    I was never a child to be hugged or actually touched

    Same here but on one occasion when my grandmother visited our house my mother demonstrated how i should hug her....like "put your arms round her like this" 

    Roy said:
    Your mother is most probably lonely, I would say limit the interaction and do it by your rules

    She definitely is lonely. About 6 weeks ago i said i only want to see them twice a week and they've respected that so far. 

    Roy said:
    it can become too much

    They've been too much my whole life but i'm taking the right steps now to help myself