Still not sure whether to go for a diagnosis.....

My parents are dead, and I always felt some shame and stigma because they felt it. In the 60's they might have been blamed too.

There is plenty of awareness about the A word in the country I live in, as I have waited for buses under placards drawing attention to it? 'The woman on the bus next to you may be autistic' etc.

I don't know how my GP would react if I raised it. She is more worried about my cough, and seems more interested in getting me to see a mammographer and getting a tube up a certain sunless regionin the appropriate out patient's to make sure there is no cancer. And I don't feel brave enough to do that even!

I saw my medical notes in the UK once by chance - glimpses of them. I was tentatively diagnosed as 'prepsychotic.' Lovely! And my mother did later say the shrink I was sent to was reminded that I lacked the instinctive social awareness most kids have. She said I spoke grammatically correct sentences, then as a toddler, regressed. That was put down to my jealousy over the birth of my brother. I just remember feeling expected to grow into being a child too quickly.

Socially I worry about not being accepted, and that getting too easily upset by certain things means I get seen as terminally flawed. Being foreign can be something to hide behind, but can also exacerbate the idea that here is a weirdo that might start going off the deep end. 

Still don't know if or how it could help, and whether it wouldn't just mean being stigmatised of it ends up on my GP:s notes. 

Parents
  • I'm sorry for your loss mate. I feel a diagnosis can be a helpful thing to have - just knowing can improve how you feel about yourself and your life. It did for me. And I've read it does for a lot of other people as well. A lot of people get labelled with psychosis and mental health, it doesn't mean anything, it's just where Doctors don't understand autism enough! Going private means you can go 'under the radar' and your notes won't be updated, probably not a bad idea as the NHS wait times are at an all time high currently.

    And if you can, try to get those tests done at some point. I know you're anxious but it's better to know and be safer than sorry with your health.

  • Thanks for, our response Bo. I have at least got the hospital appointment for the asthma thing. Covid put things on hold for a long time!

    I will look to see if there is a way of getting a private diagnosis here. 

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