Still not sure whether to go for a diagnosis.....

My parents are dead, and I always felt some shame and stigma because they felt it. In the 60's they might have been blamed too.

There is plenty of awareness about the A word in the country I live in, as I have waited for buses under placards drawing attention to it? 'The woman on the bus next to you may be autistic' etc.

I don't know how my GP would react if I raised it. She is more worried about my cough, and seems more interested in getting me to see a mammographer and getting a tube up a certain sunless regionin the appropriate out patient's to make sure there is no cancer. And I don't feel brave enough to do that even!

I saw my medical notes in the UK once by chance - glimpses of them. I was tentatively diagnosed as 'prepsychotic.' Lovely! And my mother did later say the shrink I was sent to was reminded that I lacked the instinctive social awareness most kids have. She said I spoke grammatically correct sentences, then as a toddler, regressed. That was put down to my jealousy over the birth of my brother. I just remember feeling expected to grow into being a child too quickly.

Socially I worry about not being accepted, and that getting too easily upset by certain things means I get seen as terminally flawed. Being foreign can be something to hide behind, but can also exacerbate the idea that here is a weirdo that might start going off the deep end. 

Still don't know if or how it could help, and whether it wouldn't just mean being stigmatised of it ends up on my GP:s notes. 

  • Depending in how much a private diagnosis would cost of course

  • Thanks for, our response Bo. I have at least got the hospital appointment for the asthma thing. Covid put things on hold for a long time!

    I will look to see if there is a way of getting a private diagnosis here. 

  • I will keep. looking for the way to do it

  • The private route is certainly a way to make sure my privacy is maintained 

  • I'm sorry for your loss mate. I feel a diagnosis can be a helpful thing to have - just knowing can improve how you feel about yourself and your life. It did for me. And I've read it does for a lot of other people as well. A lot of people get labelled with psychosis and mental health, it doesn't mean anything, it's just where Doctors don't understand autism enough! Going private means you can go 'under the radar' and your notes won't be updated, probably not a bad idea as the NHS wait times are at an all time high currently.

    And if you can, try to get those tests done at some point. I know you're anxious but it's better to know and be safer than sorry with your health.

  • I’ve decided to push for an assessment after years of going back and forth on whether I meet the criteria or not. If I don’t do it now, I might still be  wondering in another 5 years time.

    I can’t say I’ve looked into how a diagnosis might affect anything else which may be a mistake, i don’t know. I suppose I feel that I could disclose when I want to and keep it to myself if I prefer. This might be naive but, as I say, I’d rather have an expert’s opinion than keep wondering. 

    So, my unqualified opinion would be to ask for the assessment. 

  • A diagnosis can be helpful. I’m pretty sure my Drs appointments since have been less rushed and more thorough. I also had a referral and scan in record time, as well as a few other things, which was beneficial. Waiting would have exacerbated my anxiety, and they wanted to reduce the amount of times I had to attend hospital because id stated I leave the house for work and food lol.

    Better yet, get a private diagnosis for you only. You don’t have to add it to your NHS records, but it can be used for benefits etc in the same way.