Published on 12, July, 2020
Just interested if anyone else has met a person in adult life who bullied them at school.
My father ran a small coach business, the yard had an office and occasionally people would book a coach in person. One day I was on my own in the yard, I would have been about 35 then. One of the school bullies turned up to book a coach. He was one of the worst ones, anyway he greeted me like an old friend, it shocked me and I was like a rabbit in the headlights. He really was after ‘mates rates’, I really didn’t know how to deal with him, had he forgotten or thought it was just a bit of fun, I couldn’t work it out, I started to wonder, did the years of abuse actually happen? But they are too vivid, they did happen. Another thought was, he’s pushing me for a cheap price, is he trying to bully me again. I so wanted to ask him why he did it but couldn’t. My father luckily came back to the yard and dealt with his enquiry. Has anything similar happened to anyone else?
I can’t say I have had that experience myself, but I did just want to say that that must have been an incredibly hard situation to be in. I’m sorry you ever had to experience it.
I don’t know what goes through the head of someone when they bully another person, but I don’t imagine they see themselves as a bad person when doing it. I wonder if their memories are therefore influenced by their own perspective. Or, and as rough as this is to say, they just don’t remember it at all because as you said ‘it’s just a bit of fun’.
In fact, I do have an instance of this after all. I, during a group gathering, met someone several years after a very low and intense period in my life in which I was ejected from the social group I thought I was firm friends with. Very many unpleasant things were thrown my way. 10 or so people vs. 1. A terrible part of my life.
This person was very puzzled when I wouldn’t interact with them, after all, it wasn’t them that had done anything, it was the others! They were not the ringleader, but they joined in like all of the others. They stood by and let it happen. They added their own comments into the mix. But I was the bad guy, because years later I wouldn’t speak to them. I’m okay with the way I reacted. I just ignored them.
Hi, There seems to be a hierarchy, there’s always king rat and then the lower ranks, right down to lookouts. What they don’t realise is autistic people tend to have a very good memory. I think you acted correctly, in your case I think the bullies minion felt more awkward than you.