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Friendships - how do you do it?

Morganna Le Faye

Hi all, 

I'm recently diagnosed and starting to understand why I've struggled with friendships and social situations in life - but understanding this doesn't change anything.  The social 'deficits' are still there and knowing isn't going to suddenly make me a social butterfly.  So what now?  

Do I just resign myself to a life without meaningful friendships?  Stop trying.

Do people with autism find it easier to befriend others on the spectrum?

What have others done?  Any suggestions? 

Parents

  • Most of my friends are autistic. It wasn't a conscious choice, it happened accidentally. Some of them didn't even know they were autistic until after we became friends. I find there is so much less pressure and I am more able to be myself. There isn't a need to keep in contact constantly. I think I met many of them by not adhering to social rules, I walked up to them and asked if they wanted to be friends or started talking about something they were wearing which was related to one of my own interests. I don't try to perfect my interactions, I allow myself to be clumsy and I tell them straight up that I'm autistic and so I'm not good with these kinds of interactions but wanted to try anyway. I have done this many times and it is not always successful, I assume some neurotypical people or allistic people wouldn't like this. But the people who do have become very dear to me. 

Reply

  • Most of my friends are autistic. It wasn't a conscious choice, it happened accidentally. Some of them didn't even know they were autistic until after we became friends. I find there is so much less pressure and I am more able to be myself. There isn't a need to keep in contact constantly. I think I met many of them by not adhering to social rules, I walked up to them and asked if they wanted to be friends or started talking about something they were wearing which was related to one of my own interests. I don't try to perfect my interactions, I allow myself to be clumsy and I tell them straight up that I'm autistic and so I'm not good with these kinds of interactions but wanted to try anyway. I have done this many times and it is not always successful, I assume some neurotypical people or allistic people wouldn't like this. But the people who do have become very dear to me. 

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