Friendships - how do you do it?

Hi all, 

I'm recently diagnosed and starting to understand why I've struggled with friendships and social situations in life - but understanding this doesn't change anything.  The social 'deficits' are still there and knowing isn't going to suddenly make me a social butterfly.  So what now?  

Do I just resign myself to a life without meaningful friendships?  Stop trying.

Do people with autism find it easier to befriend others on the spectrum?

What have others done?  Any suggestions? 

Parents
  • It's difficult.  For all the social difficulties, I have been well blessed with the friends in my life, but looking back these were all built through one to one relationship over a period of time and are all with very open minded, non-judgemental people who are super smart, out of the box thinkers, honest and with whom I have a lot of mutual interest.  They have always kind of known I was different but the differences didn't seem to matter or are dealt with by humour.

    I guess I have just been lucky in meeting a handful of real gems in my life.  

    As for other autistic people, hmmm...well not one but two boyfriends from my youth with whom I still get on have now self-identified.  Yeah, course they are.  I can see that makes perfect sense now.  That's why we'd be attracted to each other and why we're still friends.  As autistic people, we see each other I think, even without knowing that we are autistic.

Reply
  • It's difficult.  For all the social difficulties, I have been well blessed with the friends in my life, but looking back these were all built through one to one relationship over a period of time and are all with very open minded, non-judgemental people who are super smart, out of the box thinkers, honest and with whom I have a lot of mutual interest.  They have always kind of known I was different but the differences didn't seem to matter or are dealt with by humour.

    I guess I have just been lucky in meeting a handful of real gems in my life.  

    As for other autistic people, hmmm...well not one but two boyfriends from my youth with whom I still get on have now self-identified.  Yeah, course they are.  I can see that makes perfect sense now.  That's why we'd be attracted to each other and why we're still friends.  As autistic people, we see each other I think, even without knowing that we are autistic.

Children
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