Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't understand why my doctor is sending me for a diagnosis to confirm or not confirm ADHD and Autism when firstly she said i remember now that there is no medication for Autism and for ADHD there is medication for. I'm confused my brain isn't processing what i want to ask. Or god. It might be mixed up i know you will be able to understand what i'm trying to ask you. Why put us through all the stress anxiety frustration anger despair of having to wait on the waiting list for 2 years for a proper diagnosis just to be told you have it or haven't it. If you have it there's no medication for Autism and most probably i'm not going to be suitable for the ADHD medication. I did say this and my doctor said it's nice to know some of the things i have is because of the ADHD and Autism to stop me being so hard on myself. To me it's giving me false hope. My brain keeps telling me when i see the psychiatrist and they diagnoses me with it i will get medication then it will all be overed with for me. This isn't going to be true though is it. Then i go back to thinking i don't understand why i am being put through all this stress and anxiety for the next two years and not get anything at the end of it. Whose benefiting by it not me.
Hi,
It is up to you whether to have a diagnosis like Alice said and it can be a long, frustrating process.
I am recently diagnosed and for me, it was the right thing to do as I needed to know the underlying cause of the stress I've had through my life and whether there were practical things I could do about it. I can recognise 4 times in my life I've had major burnout and now I understand why. I've been told in the past that I can take too long to reflect on decisions or that I ask difficult and challenging questions. I now realise that this is part of how my brain is wired and that if I don't do this or try to just go along with things that it will cause me sleepless nights whilst I think about all the permutations and have no outlet to say what I think.
In the last couple of years I had a job interview where the feedback was that I talked too long about one thing and didn't mention risk (there was nothing in the question about risk, I was supposed to infer it). I also applied to a leadership programme designed to help underrepresented people get to higher positions - they made me do a test that I knew I would fail. I did - on communicating and influencing, the exact thing I wanted help with. The test at the top said answer openly and honestly as to what you would do, so I had no choice but to do that, even where I could see they probably wanted another answer.
On both of these, there was a box to tick about whether you needed any adaptations - I didn't tick it, but I think post diagnosis I would to ask things like whether they can give me an interview question written down or on the leadership one to say that I am looking for help on communicating and influencing. I don't want to use my autism as an excuse or to be seen as getting special treatment, but I would like not to be disadvantaged by it, if that makes sense.
I'd be tempted to write a list of pros and cons personal to you about being diagnosed if you think it would help, but don't stress about it if it doesn't. In the meantime there might be things that are recommended for autism or ADHD that would help you anyway whether diagnosed or not, so that you don't feel so stressed. It's not medication but adjustments for things like how you shop or giving yourself a break. If there was medication I'm not sure I would take it anyways, I don't want fixing, I just want to be loved and understood .
Take care, Joe