• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 1400 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Indecisiveness and guilt about special interests

Wombles

I have three special interests, and I am experiencing some difficulties around committing time to them at the moment.  It's like I struggle to focus on my hobbies and dedicate the time I should to them because I am always concerned that I am neglecting my partner by spending time on them.  She is fine with me doing my hobbies - she likes having some time to herself and doesn't want to live in my pockets, but I always feel like I am somehow letting her down by focusing on my interests. 

I also find that sometimes I just don't feel motivated to do my interests.  I spend lots of time sitting down and making complex plans about what I will do every night, but when it comes time to do it, often find I lack the motivation to do things.  Sometimes I feel like I am wasting time doing these hobbies when I should be getting on with something more productive rather than indulging myself.

I wondered if anyone can offer any tips or suggestions on planning special interests around free time and also how to let go of some of the guilt I feel in engaging with my special interests?

Parents
  • Wombles said:
    also how to let go of some of the guilt I feel in engaging with my special interests?

    The way I rationalise this in my own head, is thus;

    I don't feel guilt when I meet a blind person just because I have working eyes, and I use them to explore.  Blind people have their own strategies, strengths and superpowers to accommodate the difference.

    I think it is the same for special interests.

    If you have been blessed and cursed with special interests - use them - explore.  People without special interests have their own strategies, strengths and superpowers to accommodate the difference.

    [NOTE - I do hope Sphynx will be comfortable with my analogy above, and I have used it solely because I had a very close relative who was blind and explained things to me as above.  I maintain deep gratitude to that relative for all the invaluable lessons they taught me from a very young age, and equally to their handful of dog companions over the years who similarly gave me cherished and invaluable education and friendship.]

Reply
  • Wombles said:
    also how to let go of some of the guilt I feel in engaging with my special interests?

    The way I rationalise this in my own head, is thus;

    I don't feel guilt when I meet a blind person just because I have working eyes, and I use them to explore.  Blind people have their own strategies, strengths and superpowers to accommodate the difference.

    I think it is the same for special interests.

    If you have been blessed and cursed with special interests - use them - explore.  People without special interests have their own strategies, strengths and superpowers to accommodate the difference.

    [NOTE - I do hope Sphynx will be comfortable with my analogy above, and I have used it solely because I had a very close relative who was blind and explained things to me as above.  I maintain deep gratitude to that relative for all the invaluable lessons they taught me from a very young age, and equally to their handful of dog companions over the years who similarly gave me cherished and invaluable education and friendship.]

Children
No Data