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Poly

JT

A friend sat me & my partner down about 10 years ago and told us she was polyamorous. She had a boyfriend and a second love interest at the time.

I'd never heard the term before and didn't think much of it.

But as time went on I realised this is how I felt as well. I have been fighting it off because I'm in a happy, monogamous relationship that I don't want to upset, but I also feel in some ways a little restricted by that. I love my partner and will stay 100% loyal to her as that is the loyal relationship we have.

I'm sure anyone reading this will immediately think 'you want to be physically intimate with another person'. This isn't my concern. My concern is surrounding the notion of freedom, actually to be more accurate, the palpable feeling of restraint or restriction that I feel single person relationships hold over individuals in society's unwritten 'Rulebook of Expectation'. You know the one, that everybody signed (accept, nobody has, they just go along with it without question??).

If it was a physical thing I could just go out and cheat and be a dishonest person. But I have no interest in breaking the love and trust of my partner. It is much more nuanced than that. It's the feeling of freedom to know and share love and care with whomever I feel it towards. I feel that deeply. This isn't about physical intimacy, this is about philosophical freedom.

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way?

As I say I'd never heard that term before, but within my circle of family and friends I don't know anyone else that follows this way of thinking. It would definitely be frowned upon and seen as 'weird' or similar, and although I am growing into my unmasked unique self, the idea of being open about things like this that can so easily be mischaracterised and life changing in the most important relationships I know, is frightening to me

Parents

  • Time for me to jump back out of this thread (a new coping mechanism recommended to me by a very wise and very old soul to ensure a long life.).  I don't think I have anything to add - I hope my contribution has been OK for you JT.  I send you love.....of the type you mean. xxx

  • in reply to Deleted User

    You seem to get it, so thank you for your contribution, always appreciated Slight smile

  • in reply to JT

    Bless you.  I am needy for the reassurance that I do not inadvertently causing harm to others on such delicate and personal matters in this place, at the moment.  Thank you JT.

  • in reply to JT

    I did never worry until recently......but the untimely and unfair self-expulsion of some titans recently have given me pause for thought and reflection.  I am untoward and out of step with the world, always have been.  I mean no harm - ever (or if I do, there is absolutely no doubt about it)

    I am trying to channel my seething and defensive energy into positive work and service for the remaining freaks and weirdos like me who rightly should be able to call this place home.

Reply
  • in reply to JT

    I did never worry until recently......but the untimely and unfair self-expulsion of some titans recently have given me pause for thought and reflection.  I am untoward and out of step with the world, always have been.  I mean no harm - ever (or if I do, there is absolutely no doubt about it)

    I am trying to channel my seething and defensive energy into positive work and service for the remaining freaks and weirdos like me who rightly should be able to call this place home.

Children
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