Hello

For the most part, young children are far more simple than we give them credit for - in my opinion. There are innate human needs and then there are wants. 

Most children will want for little to nothing if their needs are being met, unless they have trauma. Human needs like affection, and connexion are vital to existence. Toys and chocolate are not. I practiced never refusing my son his needs nor holding them ransom, like many NT parents will do when they confuse 'attention' for 'connexion'. 

We need approval, acceptance and to not feel isolated. My grandmother had taught me if you meet your sons needs immediately, he won't need to demand them. There was only one time my son was having a moment in the shop. I abandoned the trolley, took him to the car and just sat with him until he was better. That never happened again. When he needed me if I was on the phone, I'd pause my conversation and ask if he would wait for a specific amount of time - I gave him a sort of agency in the matter, and unless he needed the loo, he would agree to wait. I'd always follow through, and this created the trust I needed from him. 

In this case, I found that always having an open connexion and at least affirming his needs immediately, made everything much easier. One is bothered less, especially if you're like me and an extreme introvert. Four is an age where they're a little more reasonable. If he needs hugs and touching is hard, can you compromise? Give him something to focus on near you like a "Body Double". Perhaps the couch is a place he's allowed to be next to you and cuddled in pillows. 

If he's extra-sensory, I might suggest getting 100% marino wool/silk base layers. It's hard to explain how the biology responds to these natural fibres, but it feels like a daily cuddle. :)

For the most part, young children are far more simple than we give them credit for - in my opinion. There are innate human needs and then there are wants. 

Most children will want for little to nothing if their needs are being met, unless they have trauma. Human needs like affection, and connexion are vital to existence. Toys and chocolate are not. I practiced never refusing my son his needs nor holding them ransom, like many NT parents will do when they confuse 'attention' for 'connexion'. 

We need approval, acceptance and to not feel isolated. My grandmother had taught me if you meet your sons needs immediately, he won't need to demand them. There was only one time my son was having a moment in the shop. I abandoned the trolley, took him to the car and just sat with him until he was better. That never happened again. When he needed me if I was on the phone, I'd pause my conversation and ask if he would wait for a specific amount of time - I gave him a sort of agency in the matter, and unless he needed the loo, he would agree to wait. I'd always follow through, and this created the trust I needed from him. 

In this case, I found that always having an open connexion and at least affirming his needs immediately, made everything much easier. One is bothered less, especially if you're like me and an extreme introvert. Four is an age where they're a little more reasonable. If he needs hugs and touching is hard, can you compromise? Give him something to focus on near you like a "Body Double". Perhaps the couch is a place he's allowed to be next to you and cuddled in pillows. 

If he's extra-sensory, I might suggest getting 100% marino wool/silk base layers. It's hard to explain how the biology responds to these natural fibres, but it feels like a daily cuddle. :)

I do body doubling a lot with him and thank you so much. I was just able to see all of these replies. I do lots of hugs. But I also have four children so for me it’s a lot and I don’t want to get frustrated with it. It’s not their fault. I have body sock that he enjoys for the most part but he’s still very touchy and he just wants the attention I’m not able to always give. Thank you for your suggestions. I will try them out! He’s just always climbing. I have to have several locks on my door because he just wonders. I don’t blame him in the least bit. I would do the same if my brain would consider it. Lol.