Published on 12, July, 2020
hi all. On my way to assessment (16 months and counting). One thing I’ve realised as I’ve reflected and made sense of the last 30/40 years (47yo) is my relationship with beer. I’ve always drank beer and often too much (no off switch) but I’ve now made sense of it. I promise I’m not making excuses for the beer drinking - but made sense to why I think I’ve always gone to it to help me.
as soon as I have the first drink I feel everything inside change. In essence it’s all about the noise/senses that start to calm down. And I’ve always drank in social occasions - and this takes the anxiety away that’s been building up all day.
I think what I wanted to ask is… is this familiar to anyone? And is there another option that a drink currently provides?
Hello Stimpson, I'm Number.
I realised I was autistic whilst utterly drunk. I don't mean one night I suddenly etc.
No, I realised that there was something "profoundly wrong with me" when I was 45.
I already had a long standing abusive relationship with alcohol at that time, but had been extremely high functioning with it.
At 45 yrs, I "burnt out" - but had no idea I was Autistic - and no idea what a "burnout" was.
I was a frigging mess.........and it just got worse and worse.
I was identified as autistic about 8 months ago. At that time, I had become a raging alcoholic - albeit no one knew that (except me)
....and for the avoidance of doubt - when I say I could drink, I mean dangerously !
After 2 months of actually really, finally believing and accepting I was autistic, I simply stopped drinking.
That was 6 months ago. I have not had a drink since.
So..............the reason I tell you the above, is to give you the context for my answer to your original question.......
I replaced alcohol (very successfully, and without ANY pain) by simply accepting that I was autistic. Things make sense now, there is no need to drink.
For me, my fellow traveller, it was as simple as that.
I wish you all the best on your onward journey.
Kind regards