Having a beer helps (but I know it’s not good)

Hey, I'm a newbie here, and I'd like to revive this thread with my 2 cents. Have you ever thought about trying out wine making kits? They could be a fun and creative way to still enjoy a drink with friends but without the negative effects of beer. Plus, it's a cool skill to learn and could even become a hobby! I found this website called www.wineonlinestore.co.uk/ that seems to have some good options if you're interested. Of course, this is just one alternative and everyone is different. It's important to find what works best for you. Also, just a heads up that this thread is pretty old, so the original poster may not be around anymore. an.

I do agree, since I returned to my traditional Catholic Faith 15 years ago, I’m always aware of the fact that it’s not morally right to be going around drunk with so much going on in our world, drink simply adds to our problems and blocks the all-important spiritual connection with God - while historically, we Irish had the stereotypical reputation of being a nation of being drunk all the time, I see this changing away from drink for the better and personally, I don’t like the feeling of being even slightly tipsy as I feel less in control, not even at weekends away from work, even at home - many of my extended family and friends back home in Ireland, have really started to think very carefully about thier drinking habits since Covid and simply stopped drinking altogether after Covid - I’ve heard from the Pioneer Total Abstinence Association that they are receiving an increased number of applications from adults who are re-taking the  Pledge that they first took at Confirmation as children, having broke it in thier teenage years and are now as adults getting thier Pioneer Pins 

Would it be nice to treat the beer as if it was a real treat, and an occasional drink, you might enjoy it more then. My special drink is pink lemonade. 

Have you ever tried ginger beer and non-alcoholic beer? then have alcohol once in a while.  

Yes, this very much sounds familiar to me. I'm not a heavy drinker, and when I do drink, it's light beer, but I do enjoy a few cans of an evening to relax and wind down. Before it was brought to my attention that I might be autistic, I just used to think I drank like anyone else - it's the weekend, it's allowed, it's fun. But for me, I realised I'd began to enjoy having the odd few Infront of the telly on a Friday or Saturday evening, rather than going on nights out and drinking ALOT like I was younger. It naturally became a comfort thing where I learnt there was an off switch but I still just wanted to relax with the odd few. 

My wife would tell me it won't help, and would affect my sleep. But my drinking wasn't like that. No strong spirits or liquors. Just the odd bud light (I know haha) to relax me from a day of trying too hard 

sounds like a plan, well done for taking steps towards improving your health and life and remember if you mess up and don't keep to your plan/limit, don't beat yourself up just be kind and forgive yourself and decide to start again

does that mean I can use it to brush my teeth 

Hello Stimpson, I'm Number.

I realised I was autistic whilst utterly drunk.  I don't mean one night I suddenly etc.

No, I realised that there was something "profoundly wrong with me" when I was 45.

I already had a long standing abusive relationship with alcohol at that time, but had been extremely high functioning with it.

At 45 yrs, I "burnt out" - but had no idea I was Autistic - and no idea what a "burnout" was.

I was a frigging mess.........and it just got worse and worse.

I was identified as autistic about 8 months ago.  At that time, I had become a raging alcoholic - albeit no one knew that (except me)

....and for the avoidance of doubt - when I say I could drink, I mean dangerously !

After 2 months of actually really, finally believing and accepting I was autistic, I simply stopped drinking.

That was 6 months ago.  I have not had a drink since.

So..............the reason I tell you the above, is to give you the context for my answer to your original question.......

I replaced alcohol (very successfully, and without ANY pain) by simply accepting that I was autistic.  Things make sense now, there is no need to drink.

For me, my fellow traveller, it was as simple as that.

I wish you all the best on your onward journey.

Kind regards

Thanks everyone for your input…. So… gonna try and reduce intake. Fri & Sat only, seems a sensible idea I like that. And limit to 3 - this one will be the test as stopping is the difficulty. 
I can’t see a future without it but will work towards a future where I put my health higher up the list. 

Kate Kestrel said:

I think that alcohol is ok though - in moderation. I think that wine is a healthier option as apparently it’s better for the gut than spirits and beer. Apparently the state of the gut has a big impact on mental health - I read the other day that 90% of our serotonin is in our gut. 

@Kate Kestrel that's incredible. Wine, in moderation is actually a healthy alcohol it can improve balance and it's good for your teeth. And it tastes nice, can't go wrong with that 

Yes - I wish there was an alternative too. I read something last year about oxytocin and there being some research into developing some form of that to help with anxiety and especially social anxiety. I suspect that in the future they’ll develop something that works and has less side effects and addiction than the drugs currently used to help relax people.

I think that alcohol is ok though - in moderation. I think that wine is a healthier option as apparently it’s better for the gut than spirits and beer. Apparently the state of the gut has a big impact on mental health - I read the other day that 90% of our serotonin is in our gut. 

I can completely identify with where you're coming from with the feeling of everything 'calming down inside', for me its shutting up the never-ending monologue in my head and dulling the external stimuli. it's why I've used alcohol all of my adult life as a coping strategy but it is only within the past 6-8 months that I've realized this effect and that it is probably the reason I do drink. I also struggle with the 'off switch' but don't usually have more that 2 or 3.

I now try to keep drinking to friday and saturday nights because although it quietens everything inside the effect is quite short lived then I'm dealing with the everything going on inside and being a bit tipsy and it affects my sleep which is poor anyway.

I wish someone would invent something (legal) that does the same thing without the drunk-ness! I think I remember seeing something on TV about someone developing a drink which had something to do with GABBA and had a similar affect to alcohol, so who knows, maybe one day soon we will have a solution!

I’d had my first alcoholic drink in a gay venue after I had come out as gay in my 20’s (when I’d went through the delusion of thinking that I was gay when in fact I’d been confused about my sexuality for a long time) and was active on the gay scene in Dublin (before that, coming from a very teetotal traditional Irish Rural Catholic background, I’d never drank because my entire family were “pioneers” and I’d been made to take the pledge at Confirmation) but after I cut all ties with the gay community and returned to my Catholic faith 15 years ago, I stopped drinking altogether - having lived in the U.K. 20 years and having worked in supermarket retailing for 30 years, I’d seen the damage that U.K. “binge drinking” had caused so I’d always had a very careful, controlled and socially responsible attitude to drink, even when going out alone on the gay scene - I just don’t like the experience of being drunk (when it has happened on some occasions) as I don’t like the experience of not being in control - even now post-diagnosis with my current hotel employer, I’m very careful about drinking in work-related social events, as I don’t want to add to my problems by drinking to excess (I know, the “drunk Irishman” stereotypes, etc lol) - Covid and the traditional Irish Background I’ve come from has changed this a lot for me in many respects and there are also certain aspects of traditional Catholic social teaching that relate to both disability and sexuality issues which drinking can complicate, so even on weekends off, I’m very reluctant to even have one drink with a meal at home alone at age 52 and for the same reasons, even though I’ve proven to myself that I can enjoy myself without drinking at parties, it’s a shame to see the younger crowd getting hammered on cocktails within an hour - if there had been any social pressures to drink, I would have been very reluctant to attend social events, as was the case with my last supermarket employer for 17 years, where I’d only attended one Christmas party there and the drunken antics I saw then put me off attending any more, as in later years, I’d heard that these drunken antics had got worse year on year and about 5 years before I’d left, had even involved illegal drug use with those involved being dismissed and prosecuted after disciplinary and police investigations, so it’s not worth it 

Yes, I definitely use alcohol as a social crutch, but I drink wine - I prefer it and I have a food intolerance of brewer's (and baker's) yeast. Cask conditioned ale is totally out, but I will have the occasional bottle of lager in hot weather.

I do not see it as a particular problem, more a useful coping mechanism.

1 limit is indeed disciplined!! One to think about!!

Yes. I have one drink per day - because it helps. When I was younger I used to drink quite a bit more than this. When I went to Uni it was alcohol that enabled me to socialise etc. - without it I would have struggled much more to talk to people in a social way. 
Now I’m in middle age I’m more disciplined about drinking because of the health impact - so just one drink in the evenings is what I try to limit myself too. I wouldn’t like to manage without it all together as it’s one of the few things that can reliably lessen my anxiety. 

I do think teetotal should be the way forward. Need to learn how to manage without it. 

I’m 20 years teetotal too. I never knew how to get hold of weed (I’ve had a sheltered life!) otherwise I’d have joined you there… er, hypothetically speaking for legal reasons. 

Thanks Zoe. 
I used to have a smoke back in the 90’s but I was never able to acquire easily. Always felt like beer was enough for me. I went down a rabbit hole over the last year overthinking autism/assessment/why/etc since i realised, and stopped researching a while back. Went back into my own little world (although this is in my mind all day everyday!) but will take a look at YouTube for some research on it

I used to drink a lot when I was younger, in fact I’d drink before I went out at 17 onwards. I wouldn’t have been able to go out with my ‘friends’ if I didn’t. But then I had children (and I only got pregnant because I drank) but then stopped drinking due to the pregnancy and children. I actually stopped drinking completely around 20 years ago, very nearly 20 years anyway. But I didn’t need it anymore because I didn’t go out anymore. I never actually liked the taste or how it made me feel, it was purely because it gave me confidence to interact with people. But what I did do was start smoking weed in the evening, it did the same in blocking everything out, it calmed my mind and I could actually relax at last and be at peace with myself. But that got harder and harder to get hold of so I had to stop doing that a few years ago too, though not out of choice. I miss that break I could have from the day every evening. I think it made me a better person too. 

I think alcohol use can be quite common to help people, Sarah Hendrickx (who I found useful to watch on YouTube when I was first diagnosed) was an alcoholic herself.