Published on 12, July, 2020
hi all. On my way to assessment (16 months and counting). One thing I’ve realised as I’ve reflected and made sense of the last 30/40 years (47yo) is my relationship with beer. I’ve always drank beer and often too much (no off switch) but I’ve now made sense of it. I promise I’m not making excuses for the beer drinking - but made sense to why I think I’ve always gone to it to help me.
as soon as I have the first drink I feel everything inside change. In essence it’s all about the noise/senses that start to calm down. And I’ve always drank in social occasions - and this takes the anxiety away that’s been building up all day.
I think what I wanted to ask is… is this familiar to anyone? And is there another option that a drink currently provides?
I used to drink a lot when I was younger, in fact I’d drink before I went out at 17 onwards. I wouldn’t have been able to go out with my ‘friends’ if I didn’t. But then I had children (and I only got pregnant because I drank) but then stopped drinking due to the pregnancy and children. I actually stopped drinking completely around 20 years ago, very nearly 20 years anyway. But I didn’t need it anymore because I didn’t go out anymore. I never actually liked the taste or how it made me feel, it was purely because it gave me confidence to interact with people. But what I did do was start smoking weed in the evening, it did the same in blocking everything out, it calmed my mind and I could actually relax at last and be at peace with myself. But that got harder and harder to get hold of so I had to stop doing that a few years ago too, though not out of choice. I miss that break I could have from the day every evening. I think it made me a better person too.
I think alcohol use can be quite common to help people, Sarah Hendrickx (who I found useful to watch on YouTube when I was first diagnosed) was an alcoholic herself.
Thanks Zoe. I used to have a smoke back in the 90’s but I was never able to acquire easily. Always felt like beer was enough for me. I went down a rabbit hole over the last year overthinking autism/assessment/why/etc since i realised, and stopped researching a while back. Went back into my own little world (although this is in my mind all day everyday!) but will take a look at YouTube for some research on it